Scott 🏳️‍🌈

Happy little trees for everyone!

It's that magical time of year again! (Easter candy season)

Can this be a solution?

A really great first season from Starfleet Academy! Can’t wait to see what’s next.

Thread: Okay, so I’ve managed to grab screenshots of the end credits with the text so we can actually see them!

So here’s our class of 3196…
#StarfleetAcademy

Really irresponsible, IMO. It's time to retire, sir.

Maybe we can get Gandalf to stand at the strait and shout, "YOU SHALL PASS!" And the ships can magically pass through safely.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Rest well, Ibra. ❤️

You mean I had to learn that Florsheim still exists and that Kathie Lee Gifford is still alive in the same week?

Shut it down.

*checks calendar to make sure it's not April 1st*

Nope, in which case I must rebuke this with every fiber of my being.

Awww, I hope he feels better soon. ❤️

Spring is in the air, by which I mean it’s time to stock up on Flonase.

Suuuuuuuper gross! Nope nope nope! 🚮

Happy Birthday @hunterpippin.bsky.social! 🥳

And he's actively in opposition to those things by licking the boots of the fascist in the White House. Go away, Tim Maga!

This system of government doesn't seem to be working well.

Maybe we should try strange women lying in ponds distributing swords instead. 🤔 🧜‍♀️⚔️

So, Otezla is the new Happy Fun Ball™️? Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball™️. #SNL

Has nobody told Lindsey there’s no fainting chaise in the clink?

We should stop changing the clocks because apparently almost nobody makes any effort to update the clock on their microwave or car. My OCD-riddled brain cannot comprehend this, tbh.

Of course the mayor posted Daylight Savings Time instead of the correct Daylight Saving Time. Of course she did.

Doing the Rock ‘N Roll half in two weeks?

We should get a little treat for saving the daylight.

It is once again time to save the daylight. Although I would prefer summer time year round, I would be amenable to standard time if we could stop changing the clocks, which is very stupid and pointless.

Crime spree?

INNOCENT

How’s the farm going? 🧑‍🌾

This tracks. Encountering people who believe we live in a society where rules apply and where they should care about others is exceedingly rare here these days.

Is it time for emotional support wine? 🍷

Well you see, his dementia-riddled brain is just so full of BALLROOM that he couldn’t possibly care about anything else.