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Mommy Shortlegs

@coolhandkas

she/her Proud owner of 7 dismissed lawsuits against IHOP

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03.07.2023
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Latest posts by Mommy Shortlegs @coolhandkas

Thanks sis it was satisfying for sure

12.03.2026 06:57 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

due to the current state of the economy we will no longer be offering dudes playing Wonderwall on acoustic guitar, in place we will be featuring dudes playing Riptide on ukulele, we apologize for the inconvenience

29.09.2023 19:59 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
The "got hands" meme, the top guy who is posed to fight says "ok I'ma fight executive dysfunction", the bottom guy who is resting drinking water says "damn, this pile of unsorted laundry got hands"

The "got hands" meme, the top guy who is posed to fight says "ok I'ma fight executive dysfunction", the bottom guy who is resting drinking water says "damn, this pile of unsorted laundry got hands"

02.10.2023 03:06 πŸ‘ 35 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Thanks big dawg that thing went down smooth

12.03.2026 05:24 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

That was some good eatin

12.03.2026 05:17 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

That just hit the spot

12.03.2026 05:16 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Handsome sandwich

Handsome sandwich

π™‚π™–π™—π™–π™œπ™€π™€π™‘ π™ˆπ™š π™Šπ™£π™˜π™š, π™Žπ™π™–π™’π™š π™Šπ™£ 𝙔𝙀π™ͺ

capocollo, mortadella, prosciutto coto, havarti, mustard and mayonnaise on white sourdough wearing a pepperoncini hat

12.03.2026 05:12 πŸ‘ 13 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0

I will post it 😌

12.03.2026 05:06 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A real classic Italian gabagool situation

12.03.2026 05:04 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

fuck it, making a sandwich

12.03.2026 04:29 πŸ‘ 13 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I'm not sure but I can say with certainly he is HANDSOME

12.03.2026 02:44 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

smoking on that shit. human turds.
can't recommend it

12.03.2026 02:39 πŸ‘ 40 πŸ” 5 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It’s the remix to Ignition
Hot and fresh out the Ignition
Mamma rollin’ that Ignition
Got every man in here Ignition
sippin’ on ignition
i’m like so what i’m ignition
it’s the freakin ignition
baby i’m about to have me some ignition

11.03.2026 04:23 πŸ‘ 49 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 2

I think it's called Samsung TV

11.03.2026 17:58 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

She sounds cool as hell (genuine)

11.03.2026 07:11 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

[making the same noises as that evil doodle from the SpongeBob episode while my back gets blown out]

07.01.2024 04:59 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

She's in your dms, I'm eating a rotisserie chicken from Costco in my car while crying

10.12.2024 08:03 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

a kombucha made from Brisk Iced Tea that kills people

16.07.2025 00:08 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

shawty got them Walmart jeans
(jeans)
boots from Walmart
(from Walmart)
whole outfit was from Walmart
(mart)

17.02.2025 04:49 πŸ‘ 18 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

*present day version of myself talking to 2011 version of myself* : in 12 years you'll make more than twice as much as you make now!

2011 self: holy shit that's awesome, things will get so much easier

2023 self: hahahahaha no

19.09.2023 22:40 πŸ‘ 24 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

yes πŸ₯Ί voting for 3 pant with 4 top

11.03.2026 05:52 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I stand by my vote

11.03.2026 05:27 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

recently discovered that the free broadcast service that lives within the spirit of my television has a channel that exclusively rolls decades old episodes of Supermarket Sweep, so you know what I've been running while I fold laundry

11.03.2026 05:26 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

3, I always will vote for chartreuse

11.03.2026 05:22 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

It's time πŸ™πŸΌ

11.03.2026 05:03 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It's a good thing 😌

11.03.2026 05:02 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

@feistywaters.com these made me think of you, I'm not sure if these fit the bill but I remember you talking about yoga pants with regular legs instead of tight ones.

11.03.2026 04:23 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

You deserve to freshen up that wardrobe for a reasonable price and 2% cash back

11.03.2026 04:22 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

YES Erin!!

11.03.2026 04:21 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The pink and the blue ones are soooo nice, I love when we bring in colorful men's items

11.03.2026 04:21 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0