𝔾𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕥-𝕊𝕡𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕣

"I'm gonna chalk that one up to the difference in symbiotes. Mine's artificial and made using my DNA, much better fit. Still uses alien spider goo so I can't say it's not alien, but, y'know, different dimensions, different alien spider goo?"

"I'm going to go with yes. But also, my next point was going to be about how awesome a symbiote suit is because when it's raining my face is protected by a mask AND it's not getting soaking wet and inadvertently waterboarding me!"

"I don't eat them! The suit does. Because, y'know, symbiote."

Some days I wonder how Silk does the whole half-a-mask thing. Like it's stylish, sure, but it's raining today and if I didn't have a mask on that sounds like a nightmare for swinging! And don't even get me started on the flies.

Granted, my suit likes to eat the flies so that one balances out.

"You're telling me. You know how much being a superhero pays? Not enough to keep up with inflation. Or anything, actually. It's zero. Nothing."

"I know someone else who can teleport. His is more smoke-based. Reeks of sulfur. Spiders are a diverse cast, y'know?"

"I hope it's been longer than a while since you've had a /rotten/ egg!"

quill

i can't believe deetzie smacked me with the unbeatable ost

i can't believe she thinks i'm worthy of that ;;

"Then is it really you who's achieved immortality? If you replace ever cell in--nevermind, I hang out with too many clones. There's a whole Ship thing, I think."

"Heard that one a few times, too. Remind me to tell you about the meme influencer at the end of time who wanted to make herself immortal. That was a good one."

"I'm supposed to ask who 'him' is in this case, aren't I? Listen, lady, nice offer but I've never met a geneticist I trust with my cells. And I've met a lot, actually. Like a lot more than normal."

"I think the term used on the other guys was 'human-mutate'. Definitely not all human anymore. Alien spider DNA or something. Way above my level. But most humans can't lift a car over their head."

"So you're just going to ignore the web patterns, the web slinging, the wallcrawling and the giant spider symbol on my chest? I could show you my little alien spiders if that'll help you understand."

quill

i almost did a "one of everything" but realized that family and enemies don't fit these two at all

"If you were as smart as you try to be, then you'd know spiders are arachnids, not insects."

❤️💛💜💞

"Yeha, my German's pretty limited. You've already seen about 50% of it. So I'm going to assume you just said thank you. Followed by a really unnecessary insult."

"Gasundheit."

"Have you seen that guy drive?"

The box was tucked under her arm.

"Got it, Doc. Buried during daylight, inside the city, and play some Carrie Underwood. Back in a jiff!"

"Yeah but you have to consider where I come from there aren't a lot of heroes and stuff. The Great Web of Destiny is a pretty self-explanatory name, but in this universe there are heroes going around named things like Storm and Vision and stuff. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't capital-F Fate."

Uh ... drumming? Being Spider-Wom--Ghost-Spider. Screwing up pretty much all of my life constantly.

"Is Fate like a new guy in town? Another wizard or something? Will I know him when I see him?"

She took the offered box. "Deal."

"So, like, does the burial site need to be in direct sun? Or just during daylight hours? Do I need to say the magic words as I handle it? Klaatu verata nikto? Kinda new to the whole magic thing, wanna make sure I do it right, at least."

"You understand that this is shifty as all get out, right? What's in it? Or is this a need-to-know thing?"

Her mask's eyes narrowed, staring at the box.

"And you promise there's no threat of cenobites, right?"

"Like a body or something? Because my dad's a cop, dude, I kinda have to report that."

"No feet pic. Just putting that out there first. But otherwise ... go on."

I'm bad at both of those things, dude. Who's gonna hire me?

Hey, are the Heroes for Hire still a thing? Were they a thing? I don't know, I heard rumours but I'm not from around here.

Could use a bit of money, though.

"No coverage for therapists in any universe. Wait, you get benefits?"

"I have a healthy dose of anger issues. It's therapeutic."