Skeelo wished he was a baller because a baller is two thirds of the way to a ballerina
07.03.2026 10:55
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Skeelo wished he was a baller because a baller is two thirds of the way to a ballerina
after columbia house screwed me over on the 15 albums for a penny thing I went and sent in 30 or 40 more penny offers for multiple fake named people in my building just to screw them back. I'd still be doing it if they were still offering that shit.
If you listen very carefully you can hear the Mario shrinking sound whenever I get my feelings hurt
Being annoying and irrelevant should be an Olympic sport
Itβs confusing to me that thereβs no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
Ask me my body count and I will legit tell you how many people Iβve killed.
You can be an idiot, you just have to believe in yourself.
Mermaid from harry potter exclaiming βCHOOSE ONEβ at trident point
[235 years ago]
America: say what you want
America: carry a gun
America: protest the government
[today]
America: CHOOSE ONE!
I just discovered that you can buy anyone if the price is right, and it turns out that I'm available for a bacon sandwich and a quarter bottle of rubbing alcohol.
γpogs!
reasons why I canβt meet up for coffee or attend your event/party:
β’ organizing post-it notes
β’ alphabetizing random shit
β’ making lists
Mother,
I am well. The captain continues to dismiss my suggestions. It is not easy being the only Klingon. I do enjoy poker nights.
Worf
People complaining about being back to work on Monday aren't trying hard enough to build a time machine so they can go back and make sure their mom marries a rich guy
Being an adult is just being able to afford a bunch of candy you can't eat
What do I do for a living? Performative yawns mostly
2026 is the year we tire of AIβs saccharine sweet cheeriness
I just wanna be a magnet on your fridge and watch you eat string cheese at 3am
2025 has been such a clown fuck of a shit circus that i bet almost none of you remember they released the JFK files
My 2026 resolution is to sleep until 2027.
Manifesting peace, love, and a little go fuck yourself for the new year
I'm dreamy in that I don't make sense and people forget me five seconds after I leave line of sight.
A brand new year ... in this economy??
paper whites open
delicate petals, natureβs
origami yawns
McDonaldβs: Any sauces with that?
Me: do you have bΓ©chamel?
One time I had a package delivered to a porta potty at new construction next to my house. Bro was like huh these people must really live in a porta potty.
Learned all of the music and feelings you should have as a human being just from a television experience so now I know that I am a sad and complete kind of person, I'll take it because it's closing creditsable
ASS SKEET?!??!
Wife: he's so quiet, where is his head right now?
Me: I'm a 100% sure that it would be impossible to barbeque a Phoenix
I wonder what people in the year 87 BC thought C stood for
why count sheep when I can count my troubles