Lancener

I just mistook the clover on a bottle of Irish Spring for a radiation hazard symbol.

A pipe burst across the hallway a few days ago, so we've got this industrial dehumidifier in the bathroom. It makes everything hot and dry, this would be fine, but now getting a handful of soap feels like someone cumming in your hand and it's a little off-putting every time I wash my hands.

Quick guide on what to do when someone is into something you don't like:
Is someone being harmed without consenting?
If no: Fuck off. In all cases.
If yes: Offer support to the victims who are willing to speak up. Warn people that the person is a danger.

On the way back from seeing Opeth live for the first time after listening to them for the last 19 years of my life. My boyfriend is the best and I don't have the words.

Last night someone asked for proof of my balls being big, so they gave me a good excuse to take more pics. I used a Gatorade bottle for scale.

It's so hard to read right now, these letters keep changing on me

Just set every language to my preferred languages on youtube so they won't give me any auto-dubbed trash, cannot stand hearing it, would rather it be in another language. I'm so tired of AI, every day makes me hate it more.

Forgot to post these, Chicago from the air is too pretty.

As soon as I’m home I’m microwaving some cheese so it can smell like day 1 of a convention again.

Public restrooms should be equipped with tasers that activate once the threshold for "piss on the seat" is crossed.

I'm beating the shit out of food poisoning, not really though, please keep getting better, last night was the worst :x lol

Business does, in fact, not go with food poisoning.

Why on earth is there a FOOTUSSY at this party 😭

Diarrhea near me

Stupid art idea I'd do if I had any art skills: orgasm-denial art where someone is about to cum, so someone else comes up to do the cartoon finger-under-the-nose on their dick to stop them from cumming.

Discord requiring age verification while maintaining its absolute lack of security, that has lead to countless accounts being compromised, is a great way to get people to leave the platform. Which I guess I won't complain, I'm tired of using it in general.

My mom is a special case, grew up in a city, left it, and now is somehow afraid of cities. I'm so glad to have escaped rural Ohio lol.

I will never hate anything more than being told something is a "social exercise" as a way to force a class to talk to each other. none of us are thinking about what the other people are putting down, half the class didn't think about what they wrote, we're just going through the motions for a grade.

The most minor cold of my life, but my energy is just gone x.x i don't have much to work with normally, but fuck i'm tired :V

Oh god, he’s hot :V

but your unicorn fursuit is so convincing.

Just got an ad for Waymo, "find your waymoment." No thanks, I've seen enough "waymoments" on the news. I'll take a car that won't drive on the light rail tracks or through a police standoff.

This book is going to be fire

awww, he's so cute :3

That sweet pupper already looks comfy with you ❤️

I love hearing angry screaming outside a few minutes before I need to leave :V here's hoping whoever it is leaves before I do lol

Weekly reading for a class, done. Sure, I only read every 3rd sentence unless something didn't make sense without more context, but I'm not even trying to read 100+ pages in a week unless I find a drug that makes me love reading.

bananas have delicious nut

Ahhh, the refreshing stress of the first day of a class :V it's been 9 years... I told you to never come back, why the fuck are you here?

put the traffic cone down