Lowfdog ☑️

I am about to lose my mind waiting for my #AppleVisionPro to be delivered. 😿

Dammit, I really want a breakfast biscuit right now.

Finn the orange cat looking very Congressional.

I tried to tell my cat that he can’t be the next Congressman for New York’s third district, but he refuses to believe me.

Christmas boob sweater, I honestly don’t know how to describe it.

I’m gonna just throw it out there that some people aren’t right. 👀

I just checked my calendar, we’re only two days away from me overdosing on smugness because I don’t run around like a contestant from The Hunger Games trying to score a deal on shoddy consumer electronics. 👀

So yesterday, I apparently had a local celebrity bagger at the grocery store for The United Way, and I had no idea she was a celebrity until after I got home and saw the flyer.

I produced local TV News for ten years, no way I’m watching that nonsense after knowing how the sausage is made. 👀

Bloody Ronnie Pickering.

Do they know who you are??!? 👀

My great-great-great grandfather was a Confederate Colonel and seriously, fuck those guys.

James Burke in front of some science stuff.

Wow, I didn’t think it was possible to do a gritty reboot of Connections with James Burke, but here we are. 😸

You're supposed to be the king of cool! Christopher Walken schleps around in unbecoming Uggs Uncharacteristically suspicious fashion choice for the suave thespian

👀

I can have an argument with you about buying the jumbo rolls of toilet paper that are too big for the dispenser, if you need a quick fix just to get by… 👀

Husky on bench is a master of comedy.

Madam, I am an artist!

My comedy consists entirely of going around to people at parking lots and saying “Hot enough for ya?” on hot days, and “Cold enough for ya?” on cold. 👀

Elon Musk’s SpaceX Starship rocket and spacecraft lost in second test flight | CNN SpaceX reached several milestones in its Starship rocket system’s second integrated test flight before losing the booster and spacecraft over the Gulf of Mexico.

Hey look, another metaphor for Twitter. 👀

I literally just used the bathroom ten minutes ago, remind me not to get five refills of Coke Zero. 👀

Not gonna lie, I thought you had to befriend the chicken before eating it to savor the sweet taste of betrayal.

That thing with having friends sounds better, though. 👀

That dog planted stolen treats on me during a traffic stop last summer… 👀

I only got to go to Showbiz pizza for friends‘ birthday parties because my family is Italian. 👀

On the other hand, if your account gets drained because a cyber thief guessed No Fixed Address as your jam, you probably have it coming. 👀

Husky on a bench could have written it in ENR, so count your blessings.

I wrote a Tutorial article in NewsStar and saved an image of it in VRML, if that helps anyone… 👀

Yeah, but nowadays it gets all its news from the Web. 👀

Thousands of people are reportedly lining up to have a portion of their skull removed and one of Elo... "We can't blow up the first three. That's not an option here," Neuralink director Shivon Zilis reportedly warned.

In a related story, “FitBit in your skull” is my favorite song by They Might be Giants. 👀

Also, the way to remind everyone to drink is to make the Law and Order “DUNNN DUNNNNN!” noise. 😸

Takeaways from election in Ohio, Kentucky and more | CNN Politics The battle for control of the Virginia legislature is still hanging in the balance, but the first round of returns from Tuesday’s off-year elections delivered one clear message: abortion rights are ...

So I’m assuming that the only thing required these days to be a political pundit on 24-hour cable news is a complete inability to distinguish one’s ass from a hole in the ground. 👀

Remember, it’s one drink today for every time the prosecutor reminds Ivanka that she’s under oath. 👀

Ash from Army of Darkness with prosthetic hand. 😸

👀

Archaeologists in Germany find centuries-old skeleton with prosthetic hand | CNN Archaeologists in Germany have uncovered a centuries-old skeleton complete with a metal prosthetic hand to replace four missing fingers.

Hmmm…

I’m starting to be convinced that the best way to experience takeout food around here is to bring it home and immediately stuff it into the toilet. 👀

So, Covid.

I have a mild headache, a 99.2 degree fever, and a slightly scratchy throat.

My girlfriend is doing her best imitation of a firehouse out of alternating ends.

If my symptoms don’t get any worse I’m never gonna hear the end of how I lead a charmed life.

My girlfriend’s current GI issues have to be measured on a scale of 1 to the Stephen King movie Dreamcatcher, in case you were wondering how her case of Covid is going. 👀

I am scared shitless for her, and also that I am gonna get it, too.

I’ve never read a post and wanted to say “You magnificent bastard” more. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️