Jonathan CHILLburg

This is why Clair Obscur won GOTY last year

Lost Lambs by Madeline Cash,,, very good! It’s like someone stuck George Saunders in the Bob’s Burgers writers room

You're not going to make any money doing this and no one is going to read it, so you must hope for a secret third thing to happen

"But lukan you must be exaggerating.. no one's calling anyone a fascist for saying writers should read!" *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE*

Do the people who think chatbots are alive also worry that popcorn is angry at them because it's so loud?

Most people also won’t finish your 500-word article. So write at whatever length is appropriate for the subject.

lol I interviewed there for an editor job and only told me after that it would be freelance

Got it. I'm sorry for your loss. To clarify: You want a eulogy for your father that's 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲, sounds 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁, and captures the 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗺. I get it. He wasn't just your father — he was your Dad. Here a few options I came up with:

Started playing Clair Obscur and I’m not surprised the internet went crazy over the barefoot party member

"If you listened to the campus left over the years.."

Most adults actually don't spend much time thinking about what college students are up to. That's a bizarre hobby that only exists in the elite media clique.

lol where tf is this cash coming from

“oh no, they added a movie normal people have heard of to the criterion collection” is a top 5 fakest problem of all time

wots all dis den, cold coffee??

Strip Law is crazy good

Principal skinner doing the money finger thing. "THE Tariffs! THE FINGER THING MEANS THE TAriffs."

Squarespace just found its next marketing campaign

here's the thing about george r r martin: writing outlines for a genre fiction story is one of the funnest things you can do, and "writing" is Adonai's final punishment meted out to the human race. he's living the fucking dream

A movie thats “sort of okay” then kicks you in the balls, repeat ad naseum

The Rainbow coalition platform he ran on in the 80s is to the left of modern Democrats

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

Gender affirming treatment has an astonishingly high rate of satisfaction. You probably already know this, but I feel like we need to repeat it over and over.

Well, it's cool that Control 2 is probably already close to being done already at least

rip

Imagine being this zonked

It really helps that the main trio are the coolest dudes to ever live

ah i can answer this trick question actually. novels are not a race

Oh man, I had a demo disc that came with my PS1 slim and I played the first level of this over and over

Jersery Mike's (hot) philly cheesesteak is top-tier too imo

It's gonna be DOA if the price starts at $1,000 but also they can't really do anything about that AND it might be reasonable for an entry level gaming desktop at that point

Panel 1: Exec: "Ok guys ok ok we won't kill Adobe Animate." Crowd: "Phew" "thank fuck" "That's better" "I'm still switching to something else." "No yeah you really should" Panel 2: Exec: "Unfortunately we will also stop adding new features to it." Crowd: "WOO!!!" "It's a dream come true!" "Yeah!" "Finally!" Exec: "... um. Why are they cheering"

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