Dan Nouement

Punxsutawney Phil finds himself in Epstein files; six more weeks of winter

All popular culture can tell us is that "Houston means that I'm one day closer to you." Honestly we got utterly mogged in that song.

MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE: But what they didn't know is that she already lived in Texas

The big tech experience is spending all morning discovering that you need to use Bludgeon HFC Init tools for the Metastable migration w.r.t. the Zombo Lite rules

Then you find the documentation for the stack and it's a My Little Pony picture and a message saying the page has moved

What a coup d'atat

I'm here to share news of the X dot com the everything app clown fire.

Nikita copied Bluesky's starter pack feature but made it worse by centralizing curation without understanding any of the communities involved (i mean, how could he?)

Who called it reposting and not the "Jerry selection process"

All music streaming services should have two sliders: novelty and obscurity.

Cranking up the first should give you more new tracks and cranking up the second should give you deeper cuts.

Nice, he sounds versatile

Someone who never responds to your requests is an "ask hole."

Same, I got like 30 follows in the past 12 hours

They should also be slower than us and worse at sports

Better than X right now, where I literally got reported for making fun a very visible post that was openly anti-Semitic

What comp lit guys do you hire? I need a few good comp lit guys.

Hell yeah

What just happened? Was there a mass exodus? Was I tagged somewhere?

I mean most platforms DO seem to lack heavily-boosted antisemitism, and X has that

That's a cool look

Dada-driven decisions

I feel like I thought that reading Dillbert would prepare me for the absurdities of adult life.

But Dillbert was no hero, just sort of a self-indulgent dork who just relied upon his superiority complex to avoid changing anything about his life.

Did you hear about the guy who bought some Moogs from the '70s and, in doing so, paid for the synths of his father?

Both the dating and the job market feel so cursed because technology has drastically reduced the cost of applying.

Found a good person on online dating. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do with all that time I used to spend going on online dates.

I turned down a job working on steam engines. It was a mist opportunity.

Forget meeting her dad, the real trial is meeting her rescue dog

You're also the only one who truly appreciates his bad boy charm

Right next to the Pho Queue

😢

I cherish the greatest respect towards everybody’s religious obligations, never mind how comical