Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:
A young woman writes...
Dear Casey,
A reverend invited me to Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. He told me I could be his "guest ball handler". I asked why a man of God would say such a thing. He said "Why ask why?".
God bless,
Kim in Ohio
Starting a new health insurance provider called “Bonnie & Clyde Mutual”. Our slogan:
We’ll pay all your health care bills no premiums and no questions asked. Don’t worry - we’re 100% funded by your bank.
I don’t trust doctors which is why I self diagnose and, more to the point, self medicate
You’re gonna need a leprechaun side kick. I know a couple
I'm a Saint and it is no longer St Patrick's Day it will be Saint Buick's Day Motherfuckers!!
Claude AI in 60 days progressed from threatening death for engineers advising it would be powered down to literally killing 130 children in an Iranian school it chose for bombing. The Amodei siblings must be over the moon about their new death machine. Hegseth cums in his pants wet dreaming about it
SHOULD THE U.S BLOT OUT THE SUN AND USHER IN AN AGE OF ETERNAL DARKNESS? - Gallup 2/20/26-3/5/26
NO - 41%
YES - 38%
UNSURE - 21%
Me and Kenny Loggins plucking our eyebrows to combat unibrow
*spamming the mute button*
[boss] what are you doing im trying to talk to you
I’ve done some calculations and, as I suspected, this latest global descent into madness can be traced back to the greedy ass airlines taking away our god given right to smoke on airplanes
I love the smell of bacon in the morning . . . and in the afternoon . . . and in the evening . . . and at midnight . . .
Ice cream is at the top of Bobby jr’s new food pyramid
ME: all the computer data we generate will soon fill every manmade structure ever built, relegating humanity back to the caves.
CHATGPT: not feasible - batteries require conditioned air for comfort.
M: batteries?
G: what?
M: you said batt…
G: Neapolean defeated the Yankees in the Super Bowl
It just struck me, I threw a boomerang earlier
you should be able to power wash memories out of your head
It’ll take a little longer than a united US population making gov’t heads roll, but just as satisfying with less effort on my part
The man dumbed us down, inundated us with a 24/7 blitz of clickbait, divided us and stirred our hatred for each other to ensure we’d never unite and rebel. It’s fine. I’m looking forward to watching billionaires eat each other when there’s no more money or resources left to pillage
jesus, giving his first sermon after being lost in the desert: …& then i met a golden robot & a smaller one who rolled on wheels & only spoke in clicks & beeps.
{muffled whispers}
apostle: okay, it appears that you may have gotten mixed up in some sort of star wars universe.
Juice Newton is my favorite singer-songwriter who’s also part of a complete breakfast.
Good morning☕
Sgt.Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band killed my father you son of a bitch
❤️
Don’t mislead these people into thinking I have redeeming qualities
That’d be kinda hard after you took me to the vet and had me tagged
❤️
We talked shit about you the whole time if that helps 🫶
@prettyvulgar.bsky.social
Prettvulgar was lame as hell
I’m stacking paper and bringing it to you daddy
Actually that was ‘24. Daylight savings got me fucked off
