cardan

my confession for today is that i’ve never used conditioner before (i just bought my first bottle)

cardans superstitions are always right yall … if he tells u to do some random shit like spin twice in a circle and stick out ur tongue bc the winds blew wrong u better listen …

oh then someone is saying good things about you

which ear

if i had a penny every time my friend’s ex situationship started liking all my stories i’d have 2 pennies, which isnt a lot but it’s weird that theres two of them

hello miss psychologist

aw man i was trying to keep that a secret i just don’t like unnecessary attention can’t believe you let everyone know about it

he's not lying btw i saw him put down a feminist literature book before running to save a duck from the road. really nice guy

(food and pussy btw) (i’m a feminist btw)

“you need to cut for muscles to show” my brother i do not give a shit about muscles i love eating

happy birthday joys brother !!!

yeah of course! this was targeted at people who say “if only you were a woman!” or “if only she was a man:(“ about someone because that’s the only thing stopping them from dating

perhaps i’m not woke enough but i genuinely never got the concept of sexuality like you’re telling me you could find your soulmate in a person and you’d just,,, not be with them because they’ve got a pussy or balls?

i shall not say

i’m being blackmailed to watch naurto

I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY WHAT IS WRONG HIM GENUINELY THERES NO WAY HE IS THAT DENSE

i’m the exact opposite of a youtube kid, the only youtube media i ever consumed was buzzfeed unsolved. never in my life have i watched a youtube video while eating.

LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE AND GET OFF MY PROPERTY YOU FUCKING FREAK

THAT UP TO NO GOOD THUG WHY I OUGHTTA 💪💪

rob list

thank!!

and they all love me

GUYS MY CAT IS BACK

happy women’s day to all women i love you women

i’m pretty sure my cat is not coming back because she is not that smart! so!! i’m sorry about your cat though :c

(it’s lucifer if anybody gafs)

my parents after the cat i specifically told them not to let out, does not come back home after they let her out

i’m perfectly healthy i got my blood tested and i don’t think i poked myself since then

how i do not have any blood transmitted disease is beyond me #thankgod #blessed

genuinely the worst situation ever is to look at a patient’s file and see “HEPATITIS” written there after i just put an IV in the most careless way known to mankind