Derek, Director of Minutiae

My dad always said Keith Richards died 15 years ago and no one told him.

Sign outside:

GET INTO FITNESS!*

*fitness whole box of croissants into my mouth

No pain*, no gain!

*French

🎶 I'm holding out for a gyro 🎶

www.whompcomic.com/comic/just-s...

They called him Atilla the hun because he was a real sweety pie. Along with hun, we was also known as babe, sweetheart, and whatever other pet names his wife gave him.

Exactly, and I mean exactly, what it took to finally radicalize me into action. It's almost like I was a sleeper cell for shitposters.

I'm just going to put this here in case anyone is interested in it for some kind of reference or "entertainment purposes only" or whatever. Wouldn't it be wild if one particular Tesla was targeted? That'd be crazy, right? Just completely nuts and so unexpected.

gadgetsranked.com/can-a-tesla-...

Just so long as know that you are loved by weird randos on the internet you've never met. 🤗🫂

Anita Ward's 1979 classic "Ring My Bell" as I think it would be sung by Till Lindemann of Rammstein.

Came here to say this.

*mid-air origami shaped like a chinchilla with an unwrapped Babybel cheese inside*

Wife: *intentionally singing WAY off key and only well enough for the tune to be recognizable*
Wife: I love singing to you!
Me: Let me know when it happens...

Got a high five for that one. Well, I self-fived, but that made her laugh, so I wasn't in trouble.

If your kid is old enough to do the math that I refuse to do when I hear something like that, it's time to just start using years.

As a child of the 70/80s, we rolled around in the trunk from ages 1 to 27 an wer ternd urt jurs furn.

Her: Why don't you act maturely and face up to your responsibilities?

Me: Get the fuck out of my treehouse.

My folks split when I was 7, so I lived with Mom, but visiting him was always a good time. He painted, was a musician, wrote weird poetry, and was just cool to people in general. When I hit college age, we really got tight, he and I. Generally a well-liked dude. Moreso if you got his sense of humor.

He did it professionally since before I was born. He even started a shop with another guy. They would paint for a while and hand the airbrush back and forth on a job. When asked, they'd say the guy that painted it, "Eli", was from California and only painted at night. My old man was a weird dude.

My dad painted vans, cars, motorcycle tanks... pretty much anything, with this "van art" airbrush and hand-striped art style. He prided himself on hiding a pair of tits in almost every mural he ever did.

I didn't make the cut again? Nerts!

To connect a bit and see what he's into, I asked my new neighbor what kind of music he listens to all day. Any recommendations? He said, "I don't listen to anything." Like... at all I guess? Full stop? I cannot wrap my head around that. You don't have a single preference? A genre? One favorite song?

Two consecutive posts on Bluesky; the top account complaining about MacBook updates, and the bottom complaining about Windows Updates.

Linux users: *crickets, but smug*

christian sail:

*knuckle tats*

FISH STIX