sam

Title: "Unprepared for a Regrettable Luncheon! (With apologies to Kelly)" In the visual style of famed The Onion cartoonist Stan Kelly, Superintendent Chalmers is having lunch with Principal Skinner, who is menacingly placing a tray of hamburgers and fries upon the table, which greatly upsets Chalmers. Beneath one of the hamburgers is a wrapper bearing the text "Obviously grilled fast food". Chalmers [labelled as "Disappointed guests"]: "B-but... I thought we were having steamed CLAMS!!" Skinner [labelled as "Isometric exercising* odd fellows" - the asterisk refers to a footnote reading "Latest fad"]: "Oh, no, I made STEAMED HAMS™®! ©1996 Skinner family All rights reserved" From within the clouds of smoke billowing from Skinner's kitchen (wherein an American flag can be seen burning) three heavenly beings gaze upon the scene disapprovingly: A pig labelled "Actual hams", Krusty the clown, labelled "Hard-working patent-holders", and a teenaged fry-cook labelled "Ignored sandwich artists". Lady Liberty peeks in the door and sheds a sad tear at this woeful scene. Kelly's obligatory artist cameo has him disgruntledly commenting "Seymour-a bore-e-malice."

Steamed Hams but it's a Kelly comic

(Yup that's right I still make "Steamed Hams but..." memes)
#simpsons #kelly #steamedhams

The Internets are full of Sickos these days ...
@theoddkepple.bsky.social

Did you stop to consider even for a SECOND that our perfect clean bathroom INSPIRED me to shave? And that every little black hair you find is actually a COMPLIMENT??

ai can write reasonable code, but will it ever learn to consider and ultimately decide against implementing a bloom filter for 75% of the projects it works on?

@Glinner Subscribe Alan Dershowitz received the Samizdat Prize alongside me yesterday and he tried to distance himself from my views on stage! Like Ardal O'Hanlon, I asked him what he disagreed with and he spluttered and changed the subject. To be fair to him, I did get the impression he's being bamboozled by his son, who apparently doesn't even think women should have fair sports. Still, a giant of a man in many ways, just not this one.

When your name is all over the Epstein files, but you don’t want your reputation tarnished by being associated with Glinner

genuinely cannot recall how i communicated online before the 😅 emoji

I never understood spaghetti code being an insult… who doesn’t like spaghetti!?

i would be overjoyed if the U.S. had a president as ethical and even-tempered as Chancellor Gowron

january 30th: a partially formed mr. blobby stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before disappearing

i will never forgive the techbros for ruining computer
computer was the only thing i liked

Yeah @asym.bsky.social, KoL is valid

I stand shoulder to shoulder with dishwasher and humidifier youtube in the fight against fascism

sending someone a funny dm while you're in a meeting and watching for their live facial reaction is genuinely such a high to me i worry that i am addicted to it

Balkanize the united states

A skeletal monstrosity "hanging" from the blue title bar of an adventure in Kingdom of Loathing, subtitled (in a bone font) with the words "Hang in there!".

If you haven't checked out Crimbo in KoL this year, you're missing out!

sorry for ruining your entire life with my perfect and beautiful thoughts

Cafe rando: Are you excited for santa sweetheart?
Me: We are jewish and she doesn’t know what santa is haha
CR: Oh of course, and what is your name?
Zippy: Tzipora
Me: it’s a hebrew name
CR: Ok….. well where are you going after this, Zebora
Z: shul!
Me: we are going to the synagogue

Love will fuck us up

the genAI bubble relies on you conflating the genuinely tremendous potential of using machine learning for e.g. image recognition in radiotherapy, protein folding, simulations in power systems etc with the child abuse image generators and schizophrenic delusions generators

"No more shame, no more fear, no more dread"

The full text of William Carlos Williams's This Is Just To Say, in the Zohran Mamdani campaign fonts

"Hello I would like to buy some lighting for my lounge"
"Best I can do is glowing cum on a toilet roll holder"

Me and a tiny newborn

I forgot i was sharing my screen so everyone in my morning meeting at work saw me google “contraction 2-4 min for 30-45 seconds”

My brother ran outside with the drone

The Meadows has been beautiful this week

Government style ad in watercolour. Image of a burglar stealing a painting from the wall of a home. Tagline: "It's not theft... if you say you're using it to train your AI algorithm". Body text: "Theft is now legal, so we can boost the economy by eliminating jobs. If that doesn't make any sense, ask a chatbot to explain it to you." HM government logo in the corner.

Did a new one

My mistake, you are correct! I generated the file, but I did not give you a download link — let me go get it for you [pretends to walk down stairs behind couch]

Yeah but tbf whoever builds it first gets a 50% production boost when building new melee units

Guy who short sold hot cakes: no no no no no no no

Every week we get another indication of how likely Reform is to form the next government and Labour panics and announces another reactionary policy to appease right wing voters, witlessly centralising more authoritarian power in the state they are about to hand over to Nigel Farage.