Punished Cat Guy (aka Johnny Bag o’ Snails)

And then if they look like they’re about to open their mouth again, you can just add “yet” and I think that pretty much ends it

“Wanna see a dead body?”

Makes me laugh because not only has it been over 15 years since I lived in IL, I didn’t own a car the entire time and the few occasions when I borrowed one I never went more than 2-3 miles to the grocery store cluster to stock up on litter and water. I’ve never even passed through IN.

Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles An unpaid traffic ticket remains on your official record. Pursuant to the Indiana Administrative Code, Section 15C-16.003, if payment is not received by March 11, 2026, we will initiate the following actions:

1. Notify the DMV of your outstanding violation 2. Suspend vehicle registration effective March 11 3. 30-day suspension of your driving privileges 4. Send your case to a collection service with a 55% processing fee You may face legal action and damage to your credit. Make Immediate Payment: https:///llinois.atgdos.cc/us

My favorite scam texts are the ones that give me dire warnings about unpaid fines in states I’ve never been to. Bonus points to this one for directing me to a fake website for an entirely different state

Two very young kittens, one brown tabby, and one brown tabby, and white who have both clearly just woken up. The brown tabby kitten looks annoyed and the brown and white tabby kitten is yawning widely that also looks a bit like she’s gagging and handwritten text beneath her reads *gag*

I do not need to watch the AI music video to accurately express my feelings about it. Take it away, tinies

Honestly better than the British Popeye
Horror offerings

80s singer Thomas Dolby on raising queer kids: "the eldest is trans, the middle is a lesbian, and the youngest is a drummer"

The 3 genders

An illustration of a little white cat wearing a takoyaki with sauce and onions on his head and arms, looking down at his feet. text reads “I feel tako-yucky today“ and it is a whole ass mood. Art by Smudge Pudge Designs. (@smudgepudgeee on Instagram)

Who’s in a mood? I’m in a fucking mood and Smudge Pudge Designs understands

The last lingering threat of my hope for a resurgence of respect for the humanities

the truly most bizarre thing about the shoe situation is why these men aren't just buying *the exact same shoe* in a size that fits, instead of clombering around in the too-big ones he bought. He wouldn't know!

My Japanese teacher said that having a little of a southern accent or some background in a Romance language helps too because you pronounce the long vowels better and naturally use an “open” pronunciation instead of a “tight” one, but she also said that a little of accent is cute to Japanese folks

Bobby, almost certainly. Chub would figure it out quickly but attempt to persevere

…dip?

Gotta make sure they’re balanced, that’s the key

The entire ant

She’s the smart one

Honestly I’d rather just have a martini glass filled with wing sauce and maybe like a mozzarella stick in it for interest

I feel like no matter how successful, every conversation I have in Japanese should end with a gold star that says “U TRYED”

Just TRY telling me world peace wouldn’t be a lot more enjoyable with fries that weren’t limp and soggy

Look it didn’t say you could only add one thing

I think the best piece of advice a (Japanese) friend of mine gave me in college was to just pretend the “u” isn’t there about 80% of the time and blame it on my accent if I get it wrong. She also told me that no matter what I’ll never have a Japanese tongue so there’s no use in stressing about it.

a woman is smiling in front of a sign that says ' tgiv ' on it Alt: Mariah Carey, smiling and saying “I don’t know her” and then shaking her head

They’re always so confident, too, I was ordering at an Izakaya with one and when she asked for “younaggy donburry” I started getting that Mariah Carey feeling

In college my Japanese professor told me I had the best accent she’d heard in a while (which I fully attribute to almost 5 years of attempts at singing anime OP/ED songs) and I STILL feel awkward until I hear an English person pronounce someone’s surname like they’re doing an ADV dub in 1994

What is this weevil shoplifting? Wrong answers only please

Hey, guess who just figured out why they call it a lychee nut and not a lychee fruit

I read this too fast earlier and could’ve sworn it said defund Leland Palmer

the tip of the spear

If either about to give you a quest or lay a terrible curse upon you

I have two separate playlists created just for this purpose

A partly decayed lemon pig on a bed of dead leaves

As the snows recede, a familiar form appears
#lemonPig