Payne 🗝

should i start also posting the original doodles these are redraws of. anyway, another one.

another redraw

i decided to try redrawing years old poses

early aughts au where their starting position is being in the process of making an experimental thesis film. now i can, of course, give them the blair witch camera lmao.

over and over and over again

been playing with a different kind of crunchy look while i wait for my drawing gumption to come back

threat display

AT arkveld is a blast, holy shit

started up esketamine treatments again (bipolar depression's a bitch). fingers crossed, this shit's been hard.

every time i get obsessed with an oc i'm like "this is it, it can't get better than this." and then four years pass. and the focus switches to a new, even more self-indulgent guy. and it can't get better than this.

not sure about this one but it was fun to play with at least

never doubt the love for your own oc's ability to wake you back up

as an otter

nick + him as a cat (he uses polymorph a lot)

I was already considering retreating to just private messaging (for whatever value that even holds nowadays), like man. C'mon.

But, yanno. Chin up, there's work to do.

Little personal update amidst everything. Mental health's been crashing, and we think something may be wrong with my heart. Not sure what yet, we haven't been able to get recordings of an episode, but physically losing control of my body isn't something I've experienced before. A little scared.

ohhhh my god

chewing on him

I usually make truesonas but just sit on them, but with ocs I love doing this! Even with little things like wispy facial hair, or gap teeth, or fat faces. I've come a long way in regards to loving my gender and neurotype because of ocs.

remember when i modded my sona into petz

man...........

(my brand voice) my guys

oc shitposts

my eternal quest for a sheep-y sona design that clicks

unexpectedly hard day. winding down now.

Have had similar feelings. There were pieces / characters through which I was coping with the worst my health has ever been, and I'm glad that resonated with people the way it did, but being so much healthier and happier while also being told your work is lazy / terrible now? Boggling sometimes.

for partner's christmas i made a playlist for our oc ship, and then recorded it onto cassette and made a custom insert. for vibes reasons.

Holiday traveling finally over. Time to get back to it.

a lot of my anxiety results in intense masking and filtering myself out of my own interactions. so scared of messing up that i sit in silence or give rote responses. been trying to let myself drop that filter a little more. it's hard but rewarding.