Melon Baller

PHIL COLLINS: there’s this girl that’s been on my mind

FRIEND: what’s her name?

PHIL: sue

FRIEND: sue what?

PHIL: sue susudio

Some in the admin are likely wagering SCOTUS would overturn Texas v Johnson (it was a 5-4 decision even then)

Dog date

Congressman Randy Fine tweet ... The Thump Thump Act will allow Americans to run over these Muslim Terrorists. They don't try this in Florida because of the bill I helped pass in the Legislature to allow them to be run over. It's time to take it national. Thump thump. Co Liberacratt tweet (rt by Fine) … Muslims in Brooklyn blocked a highway, exited their vehicles and began chanting, "globalize the intifada." This is who the left supports and let into the country for 4 years under Joe Biden, people who hate

There is no bottom.

As a result, she said, when Trump says things that "are perfunctory — every president says 'God bless America' — well, it's more profound with him now, and it's more personal."

Every paragraph contains a gem

Sam Waterston on SNL in parody Old Glory Insurance ad

an AI slop map of the united states that seems to be trying to indicate what the most popular food is in every state. it contains such gems as Alaska's favorite food being a reddish slab labeled "ALASKA", Oregon's favorite food being what looks like a steak sitting on top of a cereal bowl labeled "APPLE", California's being simultaneously a goblet full of red liquid labeled "SHRIMP COCKTAIL" and a beige slab labeled "TATO", Wyoming's being a crudely drawn bison labeled "WYMONG" and an oblong apple on Alabama labeled "CRANFISH". There is also a square to the right of Florida that just says "SALMON" for no reason.

the same image in context of a reddit post from the subreddit "r/dataisbeautiful" saying it's "the most popular food of each state from voting [OC]"

some frankly amazing AI slop that someone decided to try and post on the r/dataisbeautiful subreddit

No text for Oklahoma, just a mysterious ravioli with a vagina

Slash the military budget, raise taxes, and budget is balanced with room for universal healthcare. This isn’t actually hard

Dumont from TRON - an old man in a sphinx like cyber outfit

A rare photo of the Senate parliamentarian

I’m with him on regime change, wrong country though

The left apparently is responsible for banning abortions and assassinating Dem officials. Checks out

Pooh meme. Normal Pooh is war against Iran. Fancy tux Pooh is war against irans nuclear program

Remembering the pit in my stomach as my daughter wore a purple beret on our Paris vacation

Barbara Walters asking a 22yo intern where a girl gets the nerve to flirt with the president of the United States belongs in a sex pest museum of some kind

Follow the poor man back

Barbara Walters asking a 22yo intern where a girl gets the nerve to flirt with the president of the United States belongs in a sex pest museum of some kind

Bill Clinton looking out his window at a batsignal of a woman’s silhouette

Yep, and the party continues to feature Bill Clinton at every convention

Kevin sorbo asking is this what you voted for? David Shayani (the source of the planes overhead tweet) responds yes.

Double lolz

Wave 2: Operation Poundtown

99% of “woke media” discourse is BS, but kudos to the NYT for sustaining the 1%

Finally getting to the heart of the matter

I was almost a Simpsons writer in the show’s early days, but was stymied by a lack of relevant talent and skills

Very serious people as usual