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totalrake

@totalrake

writer: epistemicdaddy.substack.com

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01.12.2023
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Latest posts by totalrake @totalrake

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Caustic Refractions Reflections on gay pool parties, self-consciousness, and a sense of belonging.

excerpt from my essay "caustic refractions," on gay pool parties, self-image and finding a sense of belonging open.substack.com/pub/epistemi...

13.05.2025 20:20 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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it's officially summertime!

13.05.2025 20:20 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

just read your responses and tysm for your kind words. and i feel you, it's hard out there. i struggle with trying not to attach my worth to how the job market treats me, but I'm working on it. godspeed to us.

12.05.2025 17:04 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
no more magical thinking not even Job got a clear answer.

open.substack.com/pub/epistemi...

28.04.2025 15:48 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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I'm done suffering. no more magical thinking. the worst happened (i failed the bar exam) and I'm still alive.

wrote this essay about a season of trials, lamentation and radical acceptance as my only salvation. here's my modern-day book of job, JD edition:

28.04.2025 15:48 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

my pleasure!! 😌

27.04.2025 17:11 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

it's hard being both a fuccboi and bf material but someone has to do it

25.04.2025 18:42 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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skill issue

18.04.2025 16:49 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

i feel like the more thoughts i have, the less precious they seem. i used to hate when ideas escaped me, but i always get more anyway

18.04.2025 16:49 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

lady gaga choreo is tailor made for gay boys idk how else to put it

17.04.2025 02:16 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

the way I'm meeting benevolent attorneys getting work tapping into my network (yapping on linkedin)

16.04.2025 22:35 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

sometimes i just think soothing things like jesus starved for 40 days in the wilderness before he even started his ministry....

15.04.2025 19:00 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

one of my favorite words 😌

12.04.2025 17:15 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"it's not gay if you're topping" yeah that's what that bottom said to get you naked and you believed the jezebel...

12.04.2025 16:56 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

there's much to hate & too many people to hate in the worldβ€” that's why I'm selective about my energy. even my hate is sacred. not everyone deserves to be the object of my derision

08.04.2025 23:52 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

as a blasian, i'm so glad I'm exempt from swirling discourse. both sides contradict each other so I'm free to choose whomever i desire πŸ₯°

30.03.2025 13:17 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

jewish ppl had such good PR when ppl didn't know what Zionism meant

28.03.2025 21:22 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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disappointed dadcore

27.03.2025 18:35 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

men are only valuable if they're spitting out money, women if they're spitting out childrenβ€” and the gag is that it's getting real hard to do either in the society that values us only for those things

27.03.2025 18:29 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

ngl this is an interesting concept thoughβ€” wanting to like men but in a mlm way, not in a straight way 😭😭😭 i support u diva

27.03.2025 17:58 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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me coming out as bi after getting my dick wet in vagina

27.03.2025 17:58 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

we HAVE to set romance novels in the regency era bc an internet age romance would sound like "babe I PROMISE I'm not horny. it's just a euphoria boner. my body doesn't know what to do with all the happinessβ€” i can't help but wag my tail at the sight of you... 😈"

27.03.2025 17:53 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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how i imagine it feels being a yt gay who owns a tesla

26.03.2025 20:13 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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time to stop trying to look like a bisexual dj and step into my destiny as a sexy attorney

26.03.2025 17:17 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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productive member of society cosplay

20.03.2025 00:50 πŸ‘ 15 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

it's like being an uncle tom but for gays, a tragedy

18.03.2025 22:40 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

masc 4 masc shows me you don't know how to have fun outside the shackles of masculinityβ€” how u a f4g and can't queen out?? 😭😭😭 sad honestly

18.03.2025 22:39 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

the way I'm such a catch to gays but get no motion from women on dating apps needs to be studied... is god telling me to stick to bussy?

18.03.2025 20:14 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

anxiety, depression, insecurity and existential crises afflict us all. it's no excuse to give into unbridled vanity, apathy and consumerism in the name of self-care

18.03.2025 16:59 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

i don't watch cable news, i get my news straight from the source (gen xers ig stories)

18.03.2025 16:44 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0