Old Turty Bastard

Would be a real shame if you just jinxed yourself 🤭

A bunch of my accounts have a no headphones on the floor rule, but no one enforces it for vendors except for one lady who likes to go on power trips every now and then. It was very funny watching her have the realization today that I use the “I’m listening in on a meeting” excuse every time

I always wanted to do that but I think they closed either right before or right when I moved back to Colorado

elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a wall of fire . ALT: elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a wall of fire .

My girlfriend leaves herself voice reminders a lot and I finally got her watch to include “and also suck a dick” tonight 🥳

I’ve definitely thought about getting one, but I spend most of my time rafting during the warm months so I feel like paying a ton for a mtb isn’t worth it for the amount I’d use it. Plus, I really really like bombing the hills around here on my fixed gear 🥰

I have a hardtail mountain bike that’s too small for me, but I pretty much only ride my fixed gear. I put bigger tires on it so I can do some trail/gravel riding with it

Most certainly short. Gotta show off the Ellie tat 💅🏼

It might be a trend that’s specific to fixed gear bikes, but it’s basically guys doing a fit check video with their bikes

I’m thinking this summer is when I become one of those guys who posts videos of myself just standing there with my bike with a dope song playing and the sickest caption

I love him so much 🥰

River Runners has been getting bigger bands each summer and it makes me very excited! Rafting into a concert is the coolest thing ever 🌊🐀

(I know Yonder isn’t that big anymore, but I gave myself shin splints from foot stomping at one of their shows in college and I’ll love them forever)

The coyotes were crazy last night. It sounded like they were right outside our window

Bang 👩‍🍳

My girlfriend told me my mashed potatoes are fancy restaurant quality tonight 😌💅🏼

I thought to myself, “huh, that would be fun to remember next time I see my nephews” on like two magnatile videos and now they’re trying to take over my algorithm

Fox and the Hound reel on Instagram just made me cry 🥲

Slow morning on the couch for me and the boys

🤝

We’re watching Elmer for the next week. He’s only 10 months old

#guesso

Delete this

Timeline cleanse, quote skeet this with 4 pictures of your happy place

I’m going in no Vaseline 😤

Unfortunately that’s my #problematicwould 😔☝🏼

He has a brother name Gunner and whenever I see them I jump around and say “Big Boys! Big Boys! Big Boys!” to get em all riled up

Bosun is one of my favorite dogs. He’s just a big, cuddly meatwad 🥰

I’ve been obsessed with The Manifesto the past few days

Roped several people into a discussion about Brandon Sanderson and the cosmere at the bar tonight so you KNOW it was a good night

Bring back fist pumping