𝗖👽𝗥𝗟

Blasting ass at the cemetery

You told the truth is what!!!

Very true!

Jesus hinting that the aliens are going to hell

Do we get to go to the kingdom of heaven too, Jesus?

Haha, no.

A sign on a highway in Japan telling you where to turn off to see the real grave of Jesus-Chan.

As a young man, Christ travelled around Asia and when he returned to the Jerusalem area to perform his required miracles/other son-of-god activities, he pulled an ol' switcharoo on the cross and went back to Japan where he lived as a humble garlic farmer, married, and had 3 daughters.

It annoys me to no end that despite my parents not being religious at all I was made to go to Lutheran school to appease my grandparents and now I'm saved I guess and can also smear my germs all over the communal chalice with the rest of the parishioners trying to get a full gulp of that Jesus juice

Subsequently, Sally Port is now my rpg name lol.

When I worked at a prison, I thought "sally port" was a person and got dunked on so mercilessly that I still haven't recovered 15 years later.

Is that the one where he does complex math even though he's on the janitorial clock?!

This is the social media post that they'll read out as I sob blindfolded against a concrete wall unwilling to accept my fate.

My sources say that Iran will NOT attack California because that's where Disneyland is and the new guy in charge LOVES Donald duck. Does his voice in meetings and everything.

Sitting here in basketball shorts and being mad that snow clouds are once again encroaching upon the horizon.

I will absolutely not judge you if you get this because it is a very solid pallette lmao

The colors are so good!!!

I LOVE HIM

This is glorious

I don't know what that is but maybe!

I'm making ravioli and as soon as it's done I'm going to spend hours clicking shit and thinking about 2003

I hope so!!

Looking at websites on neocities has me literally bursting with nostalgia and it feels so dang good.

I think about 2.5 years with a small trim or two? It started from collarbone length though!

Lmaooo

I only have long hair because of a curse where it grows insanely fast. My fingernails too (which is annoying because I like them short)

My hair has reached butt crack length and I was talking to my bf about how much longer I should go and he solemnly let me know that when I can "suck it into my ass" that's when I should cut it ???

He won't elaborate what that means.

Honestly, I think I should join some sorta club at the Badlands community facility and start socializing with actual people lmao.

how's annie? @ventriclemouse Dad jokes are ok but Mom Jokes are insisting that a squirrel she sees a lot is the mayor of the neighborhood and every time you talk she says "I saw the mayor today."

For those of you keeping up, we now have Grey Gary, Murphy Brown, Peanut, Pistachio, Popcorn, and Julie Patchouli. All survived the winter!

A new squirrel has been hanging around my yard that has the cutest little light patches of fur on her side so her name is Julie Patchouli and I'm working on her extensive lore.

People like that I almost pity because their soul is stained like a drunken Frenchman's tablecloth.

That Jake Lang guy is so fucking rude just for the sake of being rude and that is literally my least favorite type of person in the entire world. I don't wish harm on him, but the universe IS pretty good at counterbalancing those extreme negative outputs.