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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard

@themeadhallbard

#Wülferhamptonian Belligerent malcontent profanagiest Singest, Rhymist, Storyteller & Lute Twanglist Murdered at the behest of WülfHelm. Testimonials: Frustratingly degenerate sadistic bastard Wilfully obtuse twat

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Latest posts by The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard

Exactly.

10.03.2026 19:54 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Not if the candle is one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s

10.03.2026 19:54 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Dunno. Maybe it’s sabotage?

10.03.2026 19:51 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Some twat in a hat.

10.03.2026 19:17 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I’ve already fucked off. I was forcibly returned back here, remember.

10.03.2026 19:17 👍 9 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I am not exorcising myself. It gets ectoplasm everywhere and weakens my eyesight.

10.03.2026 19:15 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

Human?

10.03.2026 19:13 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

He outsmarted the selection committee.

10.03.2026 19:12 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I suppose it’s easier to tap them straight into a vein.

10.03.2026 19:12 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I’m with Fyrdy on this. Oook.

10.03.2026 19:05 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

He’s the new consultant.

10.03.2026 19:04 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

328,563 bottles ago.

10.03.2026 19:03 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Preview
a man dressed as a nurse is standing in front of a door holding a bag . ALT: a man dressed as a nurse is standing in front of a door holding a bag .

Pukker up.

10.03.2026 19:01 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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a chimpanzee is standing on a concrete floor holding a rope ALT: a chimpanzee is standing on a concrete floor holding a rope
10.03.2026 18:58 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

I would explain, but somebody’s eaten all the crayons.

10.03.2026 18:54 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Looks like some bugger has erased the chalkboard 😂😂😂

10.03.2026 18:52 👍 13 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

If it’s you, Nurse, probably.

10.03.2026 18:48 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
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a star trek character says i was triumphant while sitting in front of a computer ALT: a star trek character says i was triumphant while sitting in front of a computer
10.03.2026 18:47 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Errrrmmmmm… Been tried oh so very many times.

And err. *whispers* wrong gender 🤭

10.03.2026 18:45 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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a close up of a man 's face with #thefbls on the bottom ALT: a close up of a man 's face with #thefbls on the bottom

Again? You’re trying that again.

10.03.2026 18:43 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

Probably more like potato related agitation.

10.03.2026 17:43 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Coward.

10.03.2026 16:46 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

It’s very easy Leyland, you just have to tag him like this @wulferhampton.bsky.social

10.03.2026 16:21 👍 23 🔁 1 💬 5 📌 0
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a man wearing a top hat and a vest is standing in front of a pile of rocks .. ALT: a man wearing a top hat and a vest is standing in front of a pile of rocks ..
10.03.2026 09:54 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Ah, yes. Of course.

09.03.2026 19:42 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Should we call for the master of stools? (although the salad should help)

09.03.2026 19:06 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

🙋‍♂️

09.03.2026 19:04 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Post image

A lay m’lord *chortle*

09.03.2026 19:03 👍 35 🔁 2 💬 9 📌 1

WTAF?

09.03.2026 14:54 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

*waves*

09.03.2026 08:25 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0