As Tall As Her Eyes

When's the parade?

Danny Baker in a fetching cleric-type outfit (black top, white dog collar, red hat and red jacket) raising a glass of white and a glass of red

Iran's Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei makes first statement.

Mountain hard and big, water no up. Many many dig dig

You have to hand it to TalkSport. Their coverage of Cheltenham is nothing short of boring as fuck.

Grok (weeping digital tears)

“Please, this is the 40th render of Churchill in badger form on a £50 note I’ve done. Is the joke worth it?”

Me:
“Bigger penis on it”

Maaaaate

I asked Pat Sharp if he'd finger the twins if he knew they committed a crime.

I do have a tip for anybody struggling with the cost of food at supermarkets. If you use the self scan (scan and go) service to shop, you can get your weekly shop down by about £40-£50.

Pretty sure they drew the second half 1-1. That's a massive improvement from the first 22 minutes. Tudor needs more time.

8 legs of venison cost me nearly £150 at Christmas and that was 2 deer.

Fuck off!

Don't ever want Tudor to leave Spurs.

Another barmy European night in Istanbul.

Arsenal at home to Port Vale and City away to Liverpool or Chelsea will properly wind people up. 🤞🏻

Screenshot from Omid Djalili on Twitter replying to Zack Polanski re the Israeli bombing of a school in Iran: Nothing is proved yet Zack. The fact that you are spreading misinformation is appalling for someone in your position. To date no one has been allowed to see any evidence of casualties or even the site itself. The regime says it's America or Israel. The Americans say they were nowhere near the area. Here's what Iranians inside Iran say: IRGC blew it up themselves to fill it up with dead bodies of children they've kept on ice hidden away in cold storage from the January slaughters to put on display in order to blame their aggressors. The fact that we have not seen the evidence yet is a red flag as we know the regime would have gleefully paraded those images on television and all over the internet. Most probably they were caught on film transferring the bodies hence why there is now a media black out on this story, as well as a full internet blackout. As Iranians we know how this regime operates. We're talking about new levels of evil. So any narrative like the one you are pushing Zack actually supports the regime in their "don't care how many die as long as we

Whew boy, “Iran planted the frozen bodies of dead children in the school and then blew it up themselves” is a fucking HELLL of a take

Happy international women's day to all the women who aren't total pricks.

Honestly fair fucks to Vittorio Angelone for calling out Penny Mordaunt on Last Leg

Saving them for Easter.

We're all out of virgins to burn in the village to power ours. 😢

FFS. We only get black and white TV in Cornwall.

That isn't a red card. Pathetic re-reffing of the game.

Linked in Liam's performative antics on the sideline are great. Could have his own show.

Funny how League One Mansfield will come away from a one goal loss with a hell of a lot more credit than Premier League Brighton

Easy. Next.