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Todd Lunch

@toddlunch

Father was a harsh man.Tough disciplinarian. Once, he caught me smoking cigarettes. As punishment he locked me in a cupboard, & wouldn't let me out until I'd eaten the entire contents of Knowsley Safari Park. Including the gift shop. He never told me why.

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Latest posts by Todd Lunch @toddlunch

I agree. Also, I'd simultaneously want him back but also sort of don't, in case it went horribly wrong. Maybe it's best leaving it feeling like a wonderful dream we all had.

11.03.2026 12:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

That put you young whippersnappers in your place.

11.03.2026 10:30 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I thought the police had warned you about that.

11.03.2026 10:26 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Diplomatic immunity.

11.03.2026 08:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Yeah. Your 'cat' did it.

11.03.2026 08:35 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Hearhogs

11.03.2026 08:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Russo-Gaelic?

11.03.2026 07:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Oh no. I was looking forward to seeing what happened next in any of them.

11.03.2026 06:40 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Or Martin.

10.03.2026 22:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Hopefully in Louis Armstrong's voice.

10.03.2026 22:20 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Piesty

10.03.2026 21:04 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Did you get proof that they didn't read it?

10.03.2026 21:00 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I've never been confident. I said all those draws might come back to haunt us.

10.03.2026 20:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I still have a bad feeling it will be us though. Bad result at the weekend and we could spiral.

10.03.2026 20:43 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Absolutely.

10.03.2026 20:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

As long as that's the case I'll be happy. Always a treat to see a top flight mainstay (other than us) slip out.

10.03.2026 20:27 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I want them to win the CL and get relegated. The holders playing in the second tier would be great.

10.03.2026 20:22 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Definitely big something.

10.03.2026 20:17 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

My date never turned up at the cinema. I guess I'll have to watch Melania on my own.

10.03.2026 20:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Giving them a right shoeing whilst they're down. Utterly needless.

10.03.2026 18:17 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

For a second I thought Fred Dibnah was at it again.

10.03.2026 16:00 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

You've missed a bit haa ha ha ha ha ha ha etc.

10.03.2026 15:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The percussion is a bit jungle/breakbeat/whateverit'scalled.

10.03.2026 15:27 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Cleckhuddersfax?

10.03.2026 13:23 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

With Guy Fawkes night coming up, make sure you check underneath your bonfires for any Bob Carolgees, that often take shelter there. Entice them out with some cat food if they're not keen on leaving.

10.03.2026 13:19 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Yes, thankfully. I had to check.

10.03.2026 10:30 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Why does my wife think it's cute when the cat comes in with a dead mouse in its gob and drops it on her lap, yet when I do it....

10.03.2026 09:57 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I was having a kickaround with Elliott Gould last night (in a dream, not real life).

10.03.2026 09:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Shame they didn't all go to VAR.

09.03.2026 20:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

They should've made a day of it and gone to VAR for every single one.

09.03.2026 20:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0