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Bipolar Boy Detective

@wittiestmanalive

Meaningful insights from an absurd, petty human being. The Internet's preeminent anti-horse activist. He/Him.

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03.07.2023
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Latest posts by Bipolar Boy Detective @wittiestmanalive

Godzilla video game meme depicting Godzilla next to a skyscraper. There is a dialog window below showing a woman saying “ go ahead and destroy AI data centres Godzilla. Make the people happy.”

Godzilla video game meme depicting Godzilla next to a skyscraper. There is a dialog window below showing a woman saying “ go ahead and destroy AI data centres Godzilla. Make the people happy.”

08.03.2026 17:32 👍 208 🔁 76 💬 0 📌 0

You might say I’m something of a polite germophobe. Yes, I consume a lot of disposable napkins to clean my hands and food and drinks and various surfaces. But I always bring extra for the table.

08.03.2026 19:44 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Flipping a big switch between "pedophile" and "murderer" and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right

28.02.2026 17:41 👍 12 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

US/Israel spent weeks claiming Iran killed “50,000” citizens—just to kill more civilians. Lying to start a war.

In 2 years, when some craven whistleblower admits the 50k deaths were fake, I’m BEGGING liberals not to laud them with “Mueller Time” hero worship. Allowing this is criminal.

28.02.2026 15:47 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
Preview
NYPD Misconduct Lawsuits Cost Taxpayers Over $205 Million in 2024 The staggering sum underscores the need to keep New York's common sense discovery laws in place.

Are YOU a coward? Did a teen look at you funny? Was your McMuffin prepared too slowly? Do you write "pig" on Starbucks cups and pretend the Barista did it?

YOU may be an entitled crybaby! Call now to learn how taxpayers can compensate you for your spoiled tantrums!
legalaidnyc.org/news/nypd-mi...

26.02.2026 17:59 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Preview
Of Course Cops Weren't Poisoned at a Shake Shack A claim that NYPD officers were served poisoned milkshakes at Shake Shack was quickly proved to be false

New York is really gonna have to put up with 4 whole years of "owwieee the communist milkshakes made my tum tum hurt" antics from these fucking crybabies
www.rollingstone.com/culture/cult...

25.02.2026 23:26 👍 10 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
Preview
Of Course Cops Weren't Poisoned at a Shake Shack A claim that NYPD officers were served poisoned milkshakes at Shake Shack was quickly proved to be false

New York is really gonna have to put up with 4 whole years of "owwieee the communist milkshakes made my tum tum hurt" antics from these fucking crybabies
www.rollingstone.com/culture/cult...

25.02.2026 23:26 👍 10 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

The John Tesh radio show got me through a lot of long dark nights of the soul.

12.02.2026 06:04 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

check it out they published my memoirs from the year I lived in Bushwick

07.02.2026 21:28 👍 4 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
The popular “Surf Dracula” tweet by TopherFlorence: “back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale”

The popular “Surf Dracula” tweet by TopherFlorence: “back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale”

8 episodes of a long ass flashback of Leatherface wrestling with generational trauma through the visual metaphor of sewing together his skin mask, until they finally give him his chainsaw in the last 5 minutes of the finale

04.02.2026 19:39 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Preview
a man is holding a squirrel in his car ALT: a man is holding a squirrel in his car

THAT RAT BETTER NOT SEE SHIT TOMORROW

02.02.2026 04:06 👍 22 🔁 3 💬 3 📌 1

Another helpful reminder that every boss who tells you “we’re a family here” does not care if you live or die

28.01.2026 17:30 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
a man in his truck desperately praying to his chosen deity (Donald Trump) for help and/or mercy in his time of need (being arrested for making public threats at a school)

a man in his truck desperately praying to his chosen deity (Donald Trump) for help and/or mercy in his time of need (being arrested for making public threats at a school)

mothra if you can hear us please save us. please. i'm asking you. please save us mothra.

28.01.2026 17:24 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Boosters better than Hustlers

I Love Boosters

28.01.2026 07:05 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

RIP to them but your powergrid is built different

27.01.2026 06:52 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

My Therapist: tall fran lebowitz isn’t real, she can’t hurt you

Tall Fran Lebowitz On Her Way To Cut Me In Line At The P&I Buffet:

26.01.2026 00:36 👍 7 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
Post image Post image Post image

The Wife and I had almost the exact same path, 10 years ago

26.01.2026 00:58 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

why would donshifs dot bsky dot social lie to me??

26.01.2026 00:43 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

My Therapist: tall fran lebowitz isn’t real, she can’t hurt you

Tall Fran Lebowitz On Her Way To Cut Me In Line At The P&I Buffet:

26.01.2026 00:36 👍 7 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0

Just last week there was a Dateline episode about a Border Patrol agent who was murdering sex workers with his service gun. A serial killer who used his badge to protect himself. Soooo yeah again this is not about training, this is about the type of people attracted to and emboldened by these jobs.

25.01.2026 17:16 👍 170 🔁 58 💬 1 📌 0

whether by nature or nurture, there is a class of people who will always prefer death and destruction over a reduction in profits. they cannot be reasoned with. they cannot be taught empathy. they will watch young people shot, dismembered, and buried alive, and they will say that god is good.

24.01.2026 22:08 👍 573 🔁 165 💬 2 📌 2
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25.01.2026 05:11 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Photo of a bloated, haggard James O’Queef with patchy facial hair

Photo of a bloated, haggard James O’Queef with patchy facial hair

what no more blank checks to make dinner theater does to a motherfucker

25.01.2026 07:43 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

(it’s me, I’m the homies)

22.01.2026 21:23 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Preview
Trenque Lauquen with Melissa Anderson On the occasion of the publication of her new collection of film criticism, The Hunger: Film Writing, 2012-2024 (available now from Film Desk Books), FLC hosts the writer Melissa Anderson for a very s...

You should celebrate/prepare by seeing a 5-hour movie with the homies

www.filmlinc.org/events/trenq...

22.01.2026 21:22 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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22.01.2026 21:14 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

This is fine. He’s just on his way to a Simpsons-themed orgy at Davos. Typical healthy rich people stuff. He’s fine. It’s totally normal.

Maybe YOUR skin is weird and jaundiced, you ever think about that?

22.01.2026 18:09 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Some motherfuckers are too shortsighted to know what it means to be seen.

22.01.2026 16:24 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

oh my GOD these motherfuckers pull that shit on me constantly

22.01.2026 09:42 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

every time I think the Josh Gad Industrial Complex has finally wound down, he shows up in another 12 inexplicable projects all at once

22.01.2026 09:40 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0