I'm still gonna listen to Taylor's versions simply for the undertones of spite

Oddly specific ick: he backs into parking spaces. Who are you trying to impress?

Me and the crew on our way to get lobotomies at Claire's

The funniest thing that could happen is they allow three term presidents and we elect Obama

Have AJ and Big Justice crossed the picket line yet? #costcoguys

Back pain and tummy issues

executive orders are fun bc it’s like a four-year game of keep away with so many cute different things like people’s fundamental right to exist and general treason

The new TikTok looks like she bite

New power move: referring to RuPaul's Drag Race as "the game" and asking people if they're watching the game tomorrow

Heyyy

There's nothing like the spiritual bond you feel with the guy that is also eating lunch in his car in the taco bell parking lot

The phrase "happy as a clam" sets the bar pretty low

Queer baiting is when I find any straight man attractive

I don't think our country would be in this place if they hadn't cancelled the Lizzie McGuire reboot

Correct me if I'm wrong but whoever wins this boxing match gets to be in Trump's cabinet?

As a millennial, my goal is to retire early at 80 years old

Honestly thank god that joker sequel wasn't good or else we'd have a bunch of musical theater incels trying to write a trump version of Hamilton