Mason Hell-Cat

I feel like this would have potential if it were ‘Regular Folk Interventions’. But to quote Santo ‘Mick’s a showbiz arsehole’ 🤣

Oh come on Tony, surely you’ve got a ‘Blimpy the Lactose Intolerant Cat’ series in you?!

At least three people on Threads told me today that I have ‘Won the Internet’ with this post. So that’s it for me. So long, suckers!

The day has finally come where I can no longer use blue bird logo Twitter. I’m being forced to update if I wish to continue.
I have remained one of a handful of users to not turn it into X for more than a year. Bit by bit they stripped functionality… but after the takedown last week. Gone.

Carl *wishes* he had as much hair as me.

Musk refers to Auschwitz as the Roman Funpark.

This morning Triple J announced the passing of David Lynch by referring to him simply as ‘the co-creator of Twin Peaks’ and wow…. just… wow. That’s the best they could come up with? Seriously?

Geez I hope this imbecile isn’t still making program decisions.

Great show! Can’t wait for s2. It’s been a long time coming.

He’s taking his bat and ball and leaving isn’t he?

Thanks for all your work on these series, Mitch! Always well appreciated.

What I’ve come to realise after 10+ years on Twitter and 6 months on Bluesky - they’re good platforms to follow and interact with your favourite artists. But if you actually want interaction for dumb stuff (that I mostly put out), Threads is where it’s at. More followers more interaction.

Continuing to pass off scenes from films as stories from my own life with hilarious results.

I will. Thank you.

Over on Threads I’m trolling people by posting scenes from films but presented as true personal stories.

Congrats you two legends on a truly exceptional season. Always top notch comedy.

Loud and clear!

The Simple Creatures | Humanitix A night of original comedy sketches written by Mason Hell-Cat and directed by Margaret Ramsey.

Less than 3 weeks till my show hits the stage and night one is already SOLD OUT! Incredible. Tix here for night two: events.humanitix.com/the-simple-c...

Here’s the official poster of my upcoming show The Simple Creatures. So proud. Buy tix here: events.humanitix.com/the-simple-c...

Welcome to Australia. Please note, your flight may be cancelled due to overbooking, staff shortages, or THE AIRLINE GOING BANKRUPT

Call me crazy, call me old fashioned… but my first instinct, after being shot at by a random shooter whose current whereabouts and status are unknown, would not be to shake my fist in the air like I’m at a well-orchestrated rock concert.

Dear office colleague. As a bitter, disgruntled bald man, stop complaining to me about your ‘hat hair’. I would give anything for ‘hat hair’.
Even ‘bed hair’ would be sweet. It’s like complaining to a man with no legs how sore your feet are. I don’t wanna hear it!

Is there an extended version of Groundhog Day where Phil really spoils the homeless man for a day? Because getting him two bowls of soup before a trip to the hospital seems like it’s the best it gets and well… that ain’t right.

This joke KILLED (4 likes) on Twitter.

New Zealanders have already begun claiming #AuroraAustralis as their own saying they had it first and all we did was add passionfruit to it.

Martin/Molloy - Martinade Originally broadcast on Australian radio’s ‘Martin/Molloy’ in January 1997.Written by Tony Martin. Produced by Vicki Marr. Artwork by Matt Dower. MARTIN/MOLL...

Here’s a noisy bit of 1997 nonsense from the #MartinMolloy archives: www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuz...

*Franklyn

I’ve got an audio recording of one of Franklin’s gigs somewhere in my bottom drawer…

SKETCH: Closing time We’re on the set of a television talk show where two armchairs face a studio audience, slightly angled to each other. In one armchair is an elderly female host and facing her is writer Mason Hell-Ca...

That’s a wrap for 2023 and my challenge to write/post comedy every single day. I made it. Thank you to anyone that ever clicked a link, hit like, subscribed or msg’d support. Here is my final sketch of the year. Goodnight. And please hire me to write comedy. 🙏🏼

SKETCH: Closing time We’re on the set of a television talk show where two armchairs face a studio audience, slightly angled to each other. In one armchair is an elderly female host and facing her is writer Mason Hell-Ca...

That’s a wrap for 2023 and my challenge to write/post comedy every single day. I made it. Thank you to anyone that ever clicked a link, hit like, subscribed or msg’d support. Here is my final sketch of the year. Goodnight. And please hire me to write comedy. 🙏🏼