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Andrew H. Sowards

@andrewhsowards

Former criminal defense investigator, FPD (CHU) retired (disability not old). Picture taker, sawdust maker, occasional writer of words.

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Latest posts by Andrew H. Sowards @andrewhsowards

Took him this long to come up with that? Dude can't wait to cut this cord and is so fucked up over it, he can't even come up with a decent lie. The one thing he's good at.

15.03.2026 00:28 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

That said, my best friend of 40 years runs the mortgage branch of one of the country's biggest CUs and he's a good guy.

14.03.2026 22:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I had a license 30+ years ago, my dad was a realtor 40+ years ago, and my aunt and uncle 50+ years ago; always been true that the industry attracts some of the absolute worst people on the planet. I got out quick, but did get declared an expert in RE once while testifying, so it was kinda worth it.

14.03.2026 22:35 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Hopefully others will help him eat a shit sandwich he made for himself? Good luck, homie.

14.03.2026 21:29 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Trump, zipping up after pissing on some dude he set on fire, "get up and help me put this fire out."

14.03.2026 17:39 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

For years to come, lawyers all over the West will be telling colleagues about the panel they drew and get, "the swinging dicks guy?" as a reply, which is kind of fun to think about.

14.03.2026 17:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Some people should believe in themselves less.

14.03.2026 17:27 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

How about for 250 years we get 250,000 people camping on the National Mall all summer until the regime flees. The BO stink alone should do it.

14.03.2026 17:07 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

We should start scoping out islands to exile these fuckers to one day. Barren, distant, cold are what we're looking for, so get to looking and let's GoFundMe buying the thing so they know we ain't fucking around.

14.03.2026 16:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I hate accidentally swiping into the discover feed. They're weirdos.

14.03.2026 16:51 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Perfect.

14.03.2026 16:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The odds are fairly good this happens on live TV and includes audible embarrassing noises and visible fecal matter, and frankly that's what gets me out of bed everyday.

14.03.2026 16:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

He didn't do any of that. Didn't he steal the title of founder from the guy who really started Tesla? I can't remember and it doesn't matter, but the dude is a very good conman and nothing more.

14.03.2026 16:41 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The last people I want on my ass are USPS inspectors. I'd probably watch that, but I'm an investigator nerd.

14.03.2026 16:33 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Post image

Hey Tucson, come on down.

14.03.2026 16:20 ๐Ÿ‘ 125 ๐Ÿ” 27 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

Yes I know they're like 30 and not "kids," that's just how I refer to people born in years I remember.

14.03.2026 16:18 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

These kids should be thanking us for not tarring and feathering them. Fuck them kids.

14.03.2026 16:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

This is nightmare fuel.

14.03.2026 16:13 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I really don't understand why we're not rioting in the streets around here. He's robbing us blind and killing this country. Never really feared for the future of this place for my kids, now I'm begging them to emigrate to a real country.

14.03.2026 16:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I'm telling you, boring old lawyers are now going to ABA panels to applaud hostile retorts to MAGA panelists and yell "you're a clown" at them.

A whole lot of people who merely furrowed their brows at Trump I are now seething with rage, and the Dem consultant class needs to wake up to that.

14.03.2026 03:57 ๐Ÿ‘ 4534 ๐Ÿ” 983 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 69 ๐Ÿ“Œ 37

At some point he got put in charge of the drug unit, believably rumored to be due to that office being across town and separate from every single other prosecutor in the whole county. He'd charge everyone to the hilt. No deals. We had cases with 40+ defendants and dozens of counts. So annoying.

14.03.2026 01:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

He ended up in a fairly popular book by a really popular author for some stupid shit he did in his last jurisdiction, so defense counsel took to putting a copy of the book on the defense table. It was hilarious to watch him lose a lot. But man, he was an asshole.

14.03.2026 01:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I knew a prosecutor like this. Even got paid a shit ton of money to investigate him in a personal matter and he never knew. Anyway, everyone, from his coworkers to the defense bar, absolutely despised him and he was run out of town to go be a dick somewhere else. Which is how he got here.

14.03.2026 01:53 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It's just so frustrating. I assured my kids that being educated and stuff was worth the investment of time and energy and then we elect dumbfucks to the most important jobs.

14.03.2026 01:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Getting off the pain medication was a terrible idea.

14.03.2026 01:40 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Trump hasn't floated sending $2k checks yet, so we can be sure he has no idea how bad the economy is about to get.

14.03.2026 01:38 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Wanted fugitive killed by Dallas SWAT officers worked security for Rep. Jasmine Crockett, sources say Sources say the man, known publicly as Mike King, used aliases while running an offโ€‘duty police job service and serving on the congresswoman's security team.

PI and security work is full of crooks sadly. Part of why I hated being a PI. But this is a level up.

www.cbsnews.com/texas/news/d...

14.03.2026 01:31 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

We need to come up with a test for congressional candidates that they can take to prove they're smarter than my dogs. I wouldn't force it, but I would shame and not vote for anyone who didn't take or pass it.

14.03.2026 01:24 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Probably should fill up again in the morning.

14.03.2026 01:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Haha.

14.03.2026 01:15 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0