my coworkers and I came up with the metro "ride the d" shirts in marketing meetings a decade ago and came up with grosser slogans but ultimately went "they'd never let us do that..."
glad to see one of us made it happen!
got my labs back and I feel like they should let you put "it was my birthday" on the one they do for your liver
coming back to bluesky to see what all my parasocial twitch friends are getting up to on their big trip and it's worth it so far
I survived my birthday party this weekend, despite drinking a lot of something called "Bash." it was passed onto my friend from her Great Aunt Kathy and it involves mixing it in a trashcan at Rockaway Beach.
lots of shots where you see a camera guy in a mirror and then the guy who made the doc, like, half-heartedly inserts himself into the narrative and like if you're gonna do that, do that with your chest, big dog.
watched the "to catch a predator" doc on paramount last night with friends and it felt too much of a "maybe the people who filmed the pedophiles are bad too" and sure, but... at least they're... not... ya know?
every few weeks I come back here and try to make it more like the better parts of twitter and I ultimately just go back.
I think my mistake was following too many accounts. I chose quantity over quality and I GUESS that's my fault.
LOL.... i wanted to hear JD getting booed at the Olympics and when i searched for it on YouTube i got this
screenshot of tweet saying "who the fuck is playing pokemon in antarctica" with a trade partner in antarctica
photo of me in antarctica playing my switch. adelie penguins are in the background
photo of me in antarctica playing my switch, with pokemon legends z-a. adelie penguins are in the background.
I've waited 3 years to make this post
would anyone in LA like to adopt/rescue/foster this cat?
it's my sister's neighborhood stray and some piece of shit shot him in the leg with a bb gun today.
he was taken to the vet so he'll have his shots and nuts chopped off and the shelter named him Claus.
he's available on 12/30!
if you're in LA and have nothing to do tomorrow you should bring an unwrapped toy to my christmas show
doing a solo set *and* a set with mine and @corystalia.bsky.social's band!
Me: Maybe you’re not immune to propaganda, but I am. My mind is an unassailable fortress
(sees can of pizza-flavored pringles)
Me: Those mad geniuses. They did it. The taste of pizza and pringles together at last
made cookies and they're so so good
COME TO OUR HALLOWEEN SHOW
Come to my show October 31st at Harvard Yard Bar!
when I say "on my dead homies," this is who I'm talking about
doing a new thing where I call episodes of columbo "'Lumbos"
"hey, you watching a 'Lumbo tonight?"
"buddy, I'm on my third 'Lumbo"
my gf doesn't think it'll catch on
time to... cross post again...
I DO
one time I got into an actual argument with my ex-wife's cousin. she was so boomer brained that when I (accurately) called her an elder millennial, she threw a fit because she was "hard working and smart, not like a millennial" and I was just trying to tell her that she's repeating boomer bullshit.
Can you chill out. Hello my baby hello my darling ass
a purple ship in the water with the words “Fabulous Diva” painted on it in white
a purple ship at sea with the words “Fabulous Diva” written on the back
currently thinking about this cargo ship at the port of LA named fabulous diva
oh no I have the same striped shirt as that guy at the end
The Pickle Sisters were a vaudeville act from the 1920s. They were known for their unique and unusual performances. The Pickles, Margaret, Mavis, Opal, and Florence, adopted the playful stage names Dillie, Kosher, Gherkin, and Cornichon.
Keith David sitting at a switch 2 display and smiling warmly at the camera like he's having a good time
Jason Alexander looking to camera like a cornered animal as he plays a display model Nintendo GameCube.
nice argument, unfortunately i have already depicted myself as Switch 2 Keith David and you as Gamecube Jason Alexander
paid good money for this silly ass costume, I'm gonna wear it every chance I fucking get.
she doubting on my fire til I HELLLOOOOOOO
people with super loud motorcycles or muscle cars that like to let them idle in my neighborhood for 15-20 minutes should do that in a sealed garage instead of right outside my fucking windows.
