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Fart To Table

@farttotable

Destroying my mental health one doom scroll at a time!

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11.07.2023
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Latest posts by Fart To Table @farttotable

Ok, but in Godzilla vs Kong they open with Kong scratching his butt directly to camera

13.03.2026 02:30 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A member of ACT UP said that during the peak years of the AIDS crisis in the 1980s: β€œWe went to funerals and buried our friends in the morning, protested in the afternoon and then fucked danced and partied all night.”

Because the world is on fire, it’s on us to live out loud. We need to do it all.

07.03.2026 16:34 πŸ‘ 1345 πŸ” 381 πŸ’¬ 12 πŸ“Œ 10

They've now killed four people -- three U.S. citizens and a Mexican national. They've shot several more.

They've lied about all of them. They haven't shaded the truth. They haven't "misled" us. They've brazenly, knowingly lied while in possession of the evidence disproving their lies.

07.03.2026 17:12 πŸ‘ 4765 πŸ” 1920 πŸ’¬ 68 πŸ“Œ 30
(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa)

BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history.
REGINALD: Wow! What's it do?

BEARTATO: It... what?
REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do?

(Beartato thinks.)

BEARTATO: I don't know.

REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do?

EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this!

(The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet)
MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk!

(Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa) BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history. REGINALD: Wow! What's it do? BEARTATO: It... what? REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do? (Beartato thinks.) BEARTATO: I don't know. REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do? EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this! (The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet) MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk! (Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

True Art

06.03.2026 19:03 πŸ‘ 6779 πŸ” 1524 πŸ’¬ 33 πŸ“Œ 13

As she closed this chapter of her life forever, the face of Kristi Noem sat back, sighed, and slowly began to slither back into the cursed sea from whence it came

05.03.2026 19:19 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Thank you for saying this

02.03.2026 01:20 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Additionally, I want to speak directly to Iranian New Yorkers: you are part of the fabric of this city β€” you are our neighbors, small business owners, students, artists, workers, and community leaders.Β You will be safe here.

28.02.2026 17:50 πŸ‘ 9989 πŸ” 1431 πŸ’¬ 52 πŸ“Œ 83

Imagine how many four letter words they'll put on ping pong paddles

28.02.2026 14:49 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Claims of 40 dead after an Israeli airstrike on a elementary girl’s school in Iran
www.aljazeera.com/news/liveblo...

28.02.2026 11:53 πŸ‘ 2003 πŸ” 939 πŸ’¬ 123 πŸ“Œ 234

This is how I found out. I guess I shouldn't have updated my LinkedIn to include pronouns. My bad

28.02.2026 13:06 πŸ‘ 26 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Omg no, you’re not going to make Anthropic into β€œresistance tech.” Nope nope nope

27.02.2026 21:13 πŸ‘ 1550 πŸ” 274 πŸ’¬ 29 πŸ“Œ 36
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JUST IN: Columbia student Ellie Aghayeva has been released after agents allegedly used false pretenses to enter her dorm.

Mamdani says he raised her case with Trump today.

Agents reportedly claimed they were searching for a missing person, without a judicial warrant.

26.02.2026 21:55 πŸ‘ 3342 πŸ” 999 πŸ’¬ 120 πŸ“Œ 42

each and every passing day is one more intolerable injury

26.02.2026 01:42 πŸ‘ 135 πŸ” 35 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

This um...doesn't bode well

23.02.2026 19:57 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A very glamorous and cozy gray cat with naturally hooded eyes that every make up influencer would envy. She is cuddled on a black blanket and staring beautifully at the camera person, who is obsessed with her.

A very glamorous and cozy gray cat with naturally hooded eyes that every make up influencer would envy. She is cuddled on a black blanket and staring beautifully at the camera person, who is obsessed with her.

Clover looks so much like a kitten version of Marcy, who is my 12 year old kitten!

20.02.2026 20:41 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Consequences? Literally a foreign concept

19.02.2026 17:22 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It does look better than AI, I'll give it that

14.02.2026 23:43 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It's not even the comic sans that's the issue for me. It's the fact that it's clearly just a series of Google docs with weird formatting. At least spring for Microsoft Office

14.02.2026 23:23 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Was this a middle school contest or something?

14.02.2026 23:15 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

It’s a little discouraging that the harshest punishment administered in the whole Epstein sex trafficking scandal is a spaghetti sauce getting the death penalty.

14.02.2026 15:54 πŸ‘ 1636 πŸ” 223 πŸ’¬ 39 πŸ“Œ 7

This could literally apply to anything

14.02.2026 20:53 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"zoomers are killing the bar industry" oh interesting was it zoomers who decided a drink should cost seventeen dollars

13.02.2026 20:20 πŸ‘ 10554 πŸ” 1769 πŸ’¬ 135 πŸ“Œ 137
The Hill: Gallup will no longer measure presidential approval after 88 years
by Dominick Mastrangelo - 02/11/26 10:38 AM ET

The Hill: Gallup will no longer measure presidential approval after 88 years by Dominick Mastrangelo - 02/11/26 10:38 AM ET

Politico: Gallup retreats from political polling , again under new leadership

Gallup will announce friday that it plans to measure President Donald Trump's job approval rating only on a monthly basis.

12/21/2018

Politico: Gallup retreats from political polling , again under new leadership Gallup will announce friday that it plans to measure President Donald Trump's job approval rating only on a monthly basis. 12/21/2018

If you saw today's headline that Gallup will stop measuring presidential approval, they did the same thing in 2018. They do it whenever Trump is president.

11.02.2026 19:27 πŸ‘ 3377 πŸ” 1259 πŸ’¬ 58 πŸ“Œ 107

Ideal, actually

10.02.2026 22:29 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Everyone knows when I dance people do NOT enjoy it!

10.02.2026 22:27 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

We love representation

10.02.2026 22:17 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

He says from experience

10.02.2026 22:07 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

OK "god bless america" and then naming every country in the americas from south to north is absolute king shit

09.02.2026 01:33 πŸ‘ 28916 πŸ” 5006 πŸ’¬ 177 πŸ“Œ 154

No Kings includes Draft Kings

08.02.2026 23:49 πŸ‘ 26105 πŸ” 6099 πŸ’¬ 185 πŸ“Œ 110

This is actually sound advice

07.02.2026 19:13 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0