Murray Valeriano

Done my friend!

Trump has been missing for the past few days, but fortunately they found him. He was in the Epstein Files.

"There is no Epstein client list, but somehow Clinton is still on it." - MAGA

Trump is really making gameshow hosts look bad.

Trump just changed his relationship status to “It’s Complicated.”

BREAKING: Elon Musk uses “Key to the White House” to do bumps.

Taco Trump: Soft shell, full of shit and the orange stuff isn’t cheese.

The same MAGAts who bitch about gender and bathrooms are the same Dbags that will rush their girlfriends into the men’s room at a Kid Rock concert when the women’s line is too long.

When you pretend to be a Christian, pretending you don’t know anything about Bruce Springsteen or the term “86” is a cake walk!

Smashed

I remember when I worked in restaurants and I learned that when they said “86 marinara sauce” it meant they killed the marinara sauce in the walk-in freezer. 

RFK Jr. said people should not take medical advice from him, so please, continue taking it from Joe Rogan.

If you’re looking for a picture of your Mother to post today, call me.

Ha!

Ball Arena ... hehe.

Chicago might have the Pope, but Jersey still has the best pizza.

I've been in Alaska for 24 hours. I already saw a whale, an eagle and two bears.... not the animal, two big hairy gay guys in the jacuzzi.

I’m remaining Easter as Roman Victory Day.

Trump is remaining Veteran’s Day to Gulf of American Day.

Only if he’s replacing another cat named Frank Burns.

I'm available to name your cat.

Whatsaaaaaaaaaaap!

Wait. Which George Foreman died? George? George? George? George? George or George?

Ha!!

Wait. What if you drive a Tesla into the Capitol Building???

FIGHT!!!!

Excited to be a guest!

😂

I wonder how Kid Rock feels about getting Ted Nugent’s sloppy seconds?