Chris

When DHL say "ain't no mountain high enough", I didn't think they meant Kingston Hill.

@steeble.uk <bangs clipboard> Short shorts! Short shorts! SHORT SHORTS! SHORT SHORTS!

Smart Water is so fucking dumb. They take spring water, distil it to remove “impurities” (bearing in mind of course they started with presumably potable spring water), then add “electrolytes” which are just Mg, Ca, K, HCO3 and Cl. You know, the things you’d have found dissolved in spring water.

@martincostello.com you’d hope

@martincostello.com I regret to inform you from the trenches that there are many grown men still (one assumes deliberately) putting Hairy Porter on their dating profile

Shoreham seafront. Overcast and dull. Lousy Smarch weather.

Bit of a grim day on the south coast today

Je téléphone aux gendarmes

Lidl says these croissants are baked in France but I simply refuse to believe any French person would commit such treason and bake such garbage.

@steeble.uk 🤢

The biodegradable bag biodegraded in my biodegradable waste and now there's biodegradation everywhere 😓

Jubilee reacting poorly to whatever they were witnessing

@martincostello.com

Did I ruin another work shirt by dropping lasagne all down the front of it? Is it a day ending in ‘y’?

Got stuck on the Jubilee line for a half hour. Just what I wanted on a Friday evening.

[Middle East]

Forgive me for not being an expert, but why are they blowing the shit out of Beirut? Again.

They’re opening a Chick Fil A in Kingston. The primary thing I know is that they’re evil godsquadders who use their influence for hate, but apparently we just let the Americans do that now.

@steeble.uk also it allows you to ✨Show Thigh✨

@steeble.uk absolute yes to shorter shorts

Positives: The milk is properly steamed and they sell pains au chocolat the size of my head. Negatives: The largest large is 300ml.

There’s a few places that do coffee currently, but they’re primarily sit down food places that will sell you a middling takeaway coffee if asked. And a Costa machine in the petrol station. This is the first coffee coffee place.

There’s a new (proper) coffee shop in my neighbourhood. First one. Norbiton going places.

Always odd buying toilet roll. It’s like, you planning on doing a lot of shitting there bud? And like, why yes Ken, I am.

[USpol]

So, how many wars is this now?

Not me crying at new Scrubs

Like I know I have a fucked up relationship with food but it’s just CONSTANT. Like can I just have a week where I don’t need to eat.

Being a grown up is just constantly never having any food in and constantly having to make food.

My director queried why I didn’t put anything in the “Career Aspirations (if any)” box and, Sharon, do not pull that thread.

It’s nice to wake up to some good news for once 💚🥰💚

[Trains - Derogatory]

Oh look, SWR gone to complete shit all evening.

Case in point, the cunt driver honking at a school minibus in traffic outside Norbiton station because the minibus hadn’t, idk eaten, the extended queue of traffic in front of it. Reader, I gesticulated.

I don’t like this feed to be a tidal wave of negativity but JFC I hate people so much.