Memos From Lofwyr

MEMO:

FYI, I have just received a promotional brochure for a Western Europe based specialty assassin.

Services include Devil Rat Delivery, Bear Trap Balloon, Bathtub Shipwreck, The Spaz Cabinet, Milwaukee Punch Card, The Ol’ Rusty Railroad, and something called Breakfast at Debbie’s.

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

Why, of all the fantastically stupid, impulsive, far-reaching, clownish, ignorant, blind, asinine, farcical, costly, hubristic, catastrophic, COMPLETELY AVOIDABLE, absurd, doltish, clown car, inefficient, and IDIOTIC things to do… -L

#Shadowrun

Or large and golden with wings, but I take your meaning. -L

MEMO:

If you have a reputation as the best, you should only operate among those who know of it. According to Charbeau’s sim rig he tried to “Do-you-know-who-I-am” some gangers and it worked so well he yelled it four more times while they were eating him.

#Shadowrun

Shadowrun character art by Jeff Laubenstein

IRREGULAR ASSETS:

I miss this guy. He could out-cast punks half his age without breaking a sweat, and made a hell of an Old Fashioned to boot. And just look at that fit! There’s a rumor he went down in a summoning accident, but I don’t buy it. (I’ve always suspected Renraku.)

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

Employees, are your teens texting about shadowrunning?

LOL= Lofwyr Over Leipzig
GTFO=Geek The Fragging Otaku!
IDK=I’m Damien Knight
BRB= [sound of a Vindicator]
ROFL=Renraku On Full Lockdown
BRB=BUGS! RUN! BUGS!
TTYL=That Troll Yeeted Larry

Reply if you’ve heard more!

#Shadowrun

If it is who I think it is, they will most likely withdraw when they hear about being “deployed”. -L

MEMO:

I remind employees whose strategic planning has been disrupted by recent world events that, on occasion, you deal with utter simpletons who have no discernible strategic objectives. Your training and skills are not wasted, they are just not base enough to have anticipated this. -L

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

In a testament to Saeder-Krupp efficiency and product quality, Saeder-Krupp Forces using Saeder-Krupp SAMs scored three direct hits on three Saeder-Krupp jets early this morning, which safely ejected three Saeder-Krupp air crews.

This is a testament to quality control.

#Shadowrun

a man is talking on a phone next to a suitcase ALT: a man is talking on a phone next to a suitcase

MEMO:

IRREGULAR ASSETS:

Seeking HALO trained shadowrunners for a sensitive operation near Bangui. Experience with river navigation and estuarine science a plus.

#Shadowrun #Plothook

Attention citizens:

Medical services will be halted in MIN Sector until sector-wide loyalty scores increase.

In other news, beatings will continue until morale improves.

#ttrpg #paranoia #politics #trump

MEMO:

If Ehran calls I am unavailable in perpetuity. -L

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

The Project Scorpius briefing has been postponed as Dr. Mills has been found dead in an unrelated but evidently quite personal (and fascinatingly creative) incident.

#Shadowrun

Remote patching is vital to the ongoing safety and performance of your cyberware!

MEMO:

A reminder that the Company’s cyberware warranty only applies to standard installations. A Panther cannon emerging from one’s chest will not receive guaranteed maintenance.

#Shadowrun

Just came under a MASSIVE PSYCHIC ASSAULT at the grocery store

MEMO:

The Caribbean League is a beautiful place, but nothing can match the monochrome efficiency of the Rhine-Ruhr Megaplex.

#Shadowrun

Fair.

Give me a little credit, Chummers, this isn’t my first visit to the league. In fact, Miss Muffet nailed my feet to the deck and told me to dance a jig back in ‘57.

(In her defense, I was being a prick.)

A Caribbean Beach

MEMO:

Pirates are… a lot to deal with, but I must admit that they know how to pick a rendezvous spot.

#Shadowrun

Absolutely. Remember that business with ALOHA twenty some years back?

Tropical city lights at night

MEMO:

The paradox of the Caribbean League is this: the brighter the sun, the deeper the shadows.

#Shadowrun

A mountainous tropical landscape

MEMO:

Ghost, I am tired. Fragging chupacabras would NOT SHUT UP last night. Anyway, on to business.

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

Saeder-Krupp market analytics will no longer be tracking down arrows. The only arrows and lines to be tracked will be those that go up. 📈

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

Ugh, any recommendations for working with pirates? I haven’t dealt with any personally since the Gingerbread Man had his trid show and Mr. L wants me to handle this one personally.

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

Wait, they DIDN’T like our Dragon’s Donuts commercial?! But it had Maria Mercurial! And Euphoria!*

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

A reminder to Saeder-Krupp security that while physical adepts are dangerous there are effective ways to deal with them.

#Shadowrun

IRREGULAR ASSETS:

Seeking an astrally proficient and cold-weather capable team to perform search and rescue/retrieval on a Saeder-Krupp research team in the vicinity of 60°54′11″N 101°54′35″E.

The constant agonized screaming on the astral plane in that area is normal.

#Shadowrun

MEMO:

HR will be hosting a workshop called “That’s Not Funny, My Brother Died That Way” about being sensitive to the unique perils of our day and age. Awakened, land dwelling, octopi and other nonsensical dangers are no laughing matter.

#Shadowrun