[Sic] Burns

That young lady made me cry for about an hour last weekend (and also last December)

the heart is a lumpy lopsided fist of a muscle yet I have resisted the urge to hit you with it you're welcome

Send lawyers, guns, and money, and sunscreen, and maybe some personal wipes

I just need someone I can slap on the ass every morning and say go get ‘em tiger

Same! It’s also where I learned the sacred equestrian credo that any Palomino is a pal o’ mine-o. I believe the historian L Storch first mentioned it

Those Lollipop Guild thugs don’t mess around if you aren’t on time with your “protection” payment

Sign in window reads “Sorry we are closed today due to short people. We will be back on Wednesday.”

Randy Newman: *nods approvingly*

Let’s fucking go

Translated: OK fine maybe we’ll actually do something about all that but probably not just stop making us look incompetent

Anybody know how to keep these damn squirrels out of the little birdhouse in my soul

So tired of people saying my poems suck hey nobody forced them to come to Supercuts

Ever wake up at 3:30 am and realize how often over the course of your lifetime you’ve thought about Lindsay Graham’s hopes and dreams

I got a B in it even though I slept on my desk every day

Thanks but Tina taught us long ago that we don’t need a knotted hero

I have assigned many of you Marvel comics character identities for my own amusement.

Sometimes the downward spiral is only a little whirlwind in butterfly landing to tend a flower, a part of cosplay, overwhelming still. But it's being handled kink by kink

HAMSTER WHEEL IN MY HEAD,
rusted

To everyone out there warning that BlueSky could suddenly be gone one day soon I have something to tell you about biology

I've never pole danced a day in my life but that's how I want to be posed when I get taxidermied

I did my time at public schools and a state uni but it was a trombone player who taught me the most important lesson of all: your falsetto– use it or lose it

I honestly don’t know how anyone keeps it together anymore

Wait there was a nuke blast and I’m still here? Dammit!

I read that back when it first came out and the main thing I recall is feeling both shocked and seen when he praises Sinatra’s “Ebb Tide”

This is the kind of info that makes me want to break all the things

I am, indeed, sir, a surgeon to old shoes; when they are in great danger I recover them.

Watching the sunset is like getting a forehead kiss from the sky.

OK fine I’ll have a national simple ritual with a splash of oat milk and two extra pumps

I was greeted by the lovely cadence of a song sparrow this morning. Such an uplifting, hopeful sound. One time I saw one savagely rent a dragonfly into a hundred pieces.

Ya always know what yer gonna git

life is like a box of dicks