🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪

I’ve seen it happen!

I would not be afraid to leave a sex party BEFORE it even starts

We make the young guys do some sick stuff to get in the club, I know it sounds like a fraternity but we are all 50 year old guys with 1 bedroom apartments and $100,000 bikes

Oh you know, I’m in a motorcycle gang, I like sewing patches on my vest and getting the same tattoos as the other guys, of course sometimes we ride around on our bikes and have meetings

Oh you hang out with other motorcycle guys and have meetings? That’s so tough and cool

Just saw a guy start a fight with an old man and then start saying “do you know who I am?” And everyone was like “no” and he said “I’m in the mongols” motorcycle gang guys have micro-penis energy

She didn’t mention comic con but it’s possible

Oh shit, my fault, I didn’t mean to accidentally invite DJ Tanner to my demonic sex party

Roman got the new teeth, Punk got the new hair and steroid prescription, everyone wins.

Imagining CM Punk grappling with the fact that Roman Reigns works less and probably makes more than he does

Another way to say this is “this title was created because the real champion has a better contract than I do”

God damn it rocks to talk about shock jokes with someone who knows as much as I do about them

My wife is like “you should talk to people” and I’m like “you’re not gonna believe this but it’s a pleasure for me to not talk”

I was talking to Eva Anderson last night and she said she took one and it went up a hill and then just stopped

And when I say a single person I don’t just mean single guys who I would never talk to

I’m going on the best show in a bit. FYI.

I TOLD YOU I WAS AT WORK (I spent most of the day walking around Los Angeles by myself, I haven’t spoken to a single person yet today)

“I’m seriously gonna kill you”

Oh yeah, I remember seeing that now

One thing that major cities have that Columbus doesn’t is restaurants called “pizza near me” and I admire it like I did the places called like “AAAA1 Plumbing” so that they can be the first one in the phone book

It’s gonna be so easy to do journalism when there are only 3 companies running the entire economy

Several years ago I was talking to my dad and I was like “I respect that we grew up without religion” and he said “what do you mean? We were Christians” and that’s how you can tell just how little we talked when I was a kid

I know they like drinking, owning a jeep and college football

A few minutes before this they show the gyno table

It’s one of the greatest videos we’ve ever played on the show

People have sex in there

This is one of the great scenes in horror cinema

We watched the most popular tom
And bunny sex club tour

I love doing Gareth Reynold’s podcast because, much like the majority report, I get to imagine like 25% of the audience hoping that we die before he asks us to come on the show again

Cancel the rest of my appointments, a woman might perform at Ozzfest.

A lady got kicked off of my flight for allegedly acting crazy and I felt bad for her because she kept yelling “I have freedom of speech, you can’t do this” her carry on was a bunch of stuff wrapped up in a blanket