Clay

is it really though

i’m on a date the date is going good

he’s holemaxxing

when i was like 13 i convinced myself that the ONLY reason i wasn’t training to be a professional fighter was that i didn’t want cauliflower ear

nature maxxing

getting up at six to drive to denver so of course i cannot fall asleep

trusting the IT guy who looked at my desk and asked “are you on Mac or PC”

oh nice!

are you using FP-100c?

losing a day of work because we were forced to come in the office and the internet isn’t working lol

i’m about to go soccer mode

doing one of those NPC tiktok lives but it’s just me saying “tabbouleh so good, mmm mmm” while i eat lunch

saying shit like “you’re doing great buddy” to it

got a hand me down roomba and look i know it’s been out for over a decade but i’m entranced by this little fucker

reminding all my friends to buy powerball tickets but also reminding them that if they win they owe me a $1000000 reminders fee

it’s pronounced gum-cee

they’re playing old shania twain videos and all the fellas are having collective heart attacks

she’s got that onion

as long as you aren’t an arthropod i think you’re good big dog, smoke it up

hold on there’s a MRS MET??

they called it “jilling off” back in your day and everyone hated it

had a good talk with my mom today, you should do that while you still can folks

cracking the creme brûlée, not because you want to, but because they forced your hand 😔

it’s funny because even like—call of duty can manage this at a player name level

it’s just one of the dumbest oversights possible, which is how you know this place has ex-twitter employees involved

hell yeah

we must appease THE HOLE

i have bad news…

the dispenser, to my young mind—it was like i had stumbled upon mints of a higher technology

hello,,,