Scry Raccoon

So now you can just enjoy the sensation of arousal for what it is, just sit with it without feeling like you have to DO something with it. It's just a state, not a drive, not a push in any direction. Kind of a constant background radiation that just... pervades everything. All the time. (Ulp.)

Chastity is really frustrating because the cycle you're used to is "arousal=seek orgasm" and you can seek all you want, but you can't get it. But after a while, and I'm just now getting to that point, your body and mind start to internalize that arousal does NOT lead to orgasm. They are divorced.

Mentioning it now because I just realized something that I thought was interesting and worth documenting about how my relationship with arousal has changing. Not sure if I can articulate it well, but I'm gonna take a stab at it.

Currently at the end of day 8 in the second of what are planned to be 6 consecutive thirty day chastity cycles, with only one orgasm (possibly ruined) between them. Sort of a trial run. May or may not continue (indefinitely) beyond that, depending on how well I adapt to it.

tarutrit @tarutrit am i an age regressor? nah, only a little tarutrit @tarutrit the thing about age regression jokes is they never get old

It's the best/worst. It's a trap that makes you stop wanting to escape from it.

I just didn't happen to be on when it got posted initially. Personally, I love him! He's adorable!

Yes, and.

Have you seen him in Legend?

It's absolutely wild how much it's changed my life.

Imagine being an APDL living in Udaipur, India.

I wanna claim I'm doing my own version of Shelley Jackson's Skin Project, but just send everyone who volunteers to participate the word "diaper".

But I was actually talking about how chastity teaches restraint in other areas of life. Like, you get used to not getting what you desperately want. So it makes it easier to tolerate other unsatisfied wants.

Yeah, that's the funny thing: the more you *wear* the cage, the more you *need* the cage, because you've basically outsourced your discipline.

Chastity teaches, among other things, accepting not being able to have the thing you want, no matter how badly you may want it. It's a difficult lesson that I'm a little late in learning.

Rrrrrfff I need to find more local outlets for my subby energy. Local keyholder's not available that often and Oscar's not in the mood that often. And I am... like.... *vibrates intensely*

Borrowed and Blue Reviews, old and new. Mostly books. Mostly SFF. Quite likely gay.

After a month of buildup, may I present...

The Queersar not an award 2020!

10 (+1) great queer SFF novels.

V good year for queer SFF; I found it *really* hard to narrow down to 10. But happy with what's on here & more convinced there *is* a gap in the award landscape for books like these.

I think I understand what you're aiming for here. It's like "omg, you're RIGHT! Diapers *are* gross and dumb, and only big stinky dorks wear them! Dat's me!" Like, you knoooow it's degrading but instead of being embarrassed you totally own and embrace it.

Just a reminder that some friends and I will be playing at C&P Coffee this month on Thursday the 26th. Come along if you want to hear some great music and poetry!

That's how I ended up in diapers!

Very soggy M4, under unsnapped onesie with baby tigers on it!

Just before changing....

Satie is great too! I think I prefer the others for writing since their individual pieces tend to be longer.

I wrote some of my best poems to that!

Dang, you're gonna poke a hole through that thing!

Absolutely not. I can't even write if the music I'm listening to has a few words I recognize in a foreign-to-me language. I personally find minimalist stuff like Philip Glass, Steve Reich, or John Adams, to be the best for writing to.

It's pretty depressing, but I recommend the movie "Welcome to the Dollhouse".

Congrats! Welcome to the... I don't know, collective? Family? Polycule? Menagerie? Zoo? Anyway, welcome aboard. ❤️

Those nightcaps with the ball on a tassel? Might be a little too old-fashioned.

Omigosh I am so excited for this