I haven’t posted on here in a while, but with overwhelming evidence coming at me at all angles I feel it is necessary to acknowledge that I have an inkling Donald Trump might actually be a bad guy.
They want to talk about Pam Bondi ignoring pedophilia, but it is really about all the Pam Bonding we did along the way.
One of the most lucrative things I do is being a paid agitator. Pretty observable all of the big dark money goes into funding the working class.
I love the conservative counter protest halftime show concept. Keep it going. I just want to see the bag, they already lost Smashmouth.
Not enough people are asking “What is love? Baby don’t hurt me”
I trust our Democratic leadership in Schumer and Jefferies, I know in the critical moment they will step up and hold the door while I am marched into the work camp.
Sometimes a kid asks you a question like how do ants not die in the winter and you realize you are an idiot who knows nothing.
Hunger games for AI CEOs and the winner gets to fight an army of AI robots and drones.
So what did they do with all of Jo-Ann’s fabrics? Where are they? What are they hiding?
So many species are going extinct , rainforests burning down, but is anyone going to call out the successful resurgence of the measles? Talk about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps.
Picture of a woman wearing weird ass glasses extenders
Trendy new way to look like an absolute freak just dropped. Run don’t walk to get yours.
Bought a top of the line stroller, a few thoughts:
1. Never worry about crossing the street everyone stops
2. So much storage
3. Easy seat on the train
4. People get really angry when they notice I am just pushing a backpack and a bunch of snacks around for some reason.
A philosopher once posited why do tears come at night, why might one cry cry cry at the lonely part if you are truly lucky nothing is missing in your life.
School shootings are bad and it wouldn’t be unreasonable to enact a few things to make them less likely to occur.
I bought and installed a ring camera for my wife to solve the mystery of some weirdo randomly leaving flower bouquets at our house (not joking) and after three hours I already want to jump off a bridge with these notifications.
Life sentences for apps that require pop notifications using those for ads.
Jail sentences for anyone putting message alerts on apps for ads.
Lazy rainy Saturday, just sitting at home by myself Jack Antonoff.
I refuse to figure out what a labubu is.
Not using a phone case just so I can condescendingly call anyone who points it out as a child that can’t be trusted with anything of value. *Actually just too lazy to buy a new case.
Baffling that people don’t realize they look like dementia patients with caretakers when they publicly ask AI to confirm very obvious researchable facts.
I have had to explain this to at least 2 of my ex wives.
Cosmopolitan Mag sex tip: You can simply pee in your partners vagina (where the pee comes from) and let her take care of it for the both of you later.
Little known fact, Mr. Bean was named for his mind blowing orgasms.
Not to brag but I received a Lou Bega CD featuring chart topping hit Mambo Number 5 in my Easter basket as a child.
The sautéed braised brain tumor at the Tesla diner is actually pretty tasty and 5% of every order goes to fund the donors funeral expenses.
The Democratic party is edging the position that innocent civilians dying is a bad thing.
Workshopping a Facebook Mom meme: Intermittent fasting, yeah I take naps.
My carpal tunnel is acting up stuffing all these Snickers bars with razor blades, when the fuck is Halloween?
Quick Monday Money Tip: You make more cash mowing grass than touching grass.
