dracula going to see an early movie and the second he sees the train coming at the viewer he’s already into his dodge animations. shadow-stepping backwards, discorporating into a swarm of bats and flying to a different seat. people all pissed off at his mist fucking up their rolls’ i-frame timing
cartoon of a central/southern american sacrifice atop of ziggurat and one person is saying to another “it may not be a perfect system, but it’s still the best one there is”. this is ironic
MY WORK HOMIE STOIC CHARLES: yeah, for sure this is a solid track. always kind of rough to hear now though, since my dad died of Murder back in 2014
ME, EMPATH: yeah. hey. hey. fuck Murder, dude. if you know you know
you’re lore homie
we all became strange one day. ok so what. year 2000, annunciation of the bitch ass. holy water in their sick guts and they named her Computer
knight of the seven genres
been there
please don’t ask people if you can leave on your shoes when entering their apartment. it's rude.
when you are invited into a home, you need to let go. you can't be like, "i want to touch this" and "i have to keep my shoes on" and "i’m spilling this, fuck you." being a guest is respecting your host.
dave navarro lookin’ rickety
tales from the drippedcreeper
Grown up sized Dan Flashes baby attentionposting: My wife hates my favorite summer polo and now I’m uninvited to brunch :(
Me: you can't be talking like that Dan Flashes Baby.
ſteely Dan
Green bunny Grassy plays online checkers and feels happy, then not happy. Transcript: OPPONENT: u are losing at this like gummy bears from a bag. OPPONENT: upside down bag. YOU: i could still win. OPPONENT: no. OPPONENT: but i bet ur good at other things. YOU: what. OPPONENT: u probably have other skills. OPPONENT: good at cooking. YOU: i am actually. OPPONENT: see. and a friendly smile I bet. YOU: yes. OPPONENT: i am actually good at cooking too and i have a fabulous smile. OPPONENT: so im good at 3 things. OPPONENT: and ur good at 2.
Skills 🏁
grassyvalley.thecomi...
cutaneous delivery. Skin parcel. Skin parcel. 𝟷:𝟷𝟻-𝟹:𝟺𝟻 back door. dorsal skin. save instructions. Leave at Deskwith Receptionist. Leave at Dark. Leave now, before it is dark. my skin updates. myskinpackage ✅Cutaneous Delivery is enabled.
🌐 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩?
if you hear me say to somebody "your opinion is underconsidered," know that what I mean is "you should not be talking to me"
roses are red
goo goo dolls sang iris
and i dont want the world to see me
cause i have the ebola virus
i’m a real boy
non so cosa mi renda così
behold the power of ~fixins~
Darkness Lord @sabatonfan69 My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "the fall of Rome" 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯 Me: yeah whatever. I don't feel shit. 5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some Gauls in the forest My buddy Phillip pacing: the senate is lying to us 5:07 PM • 3/8/23
BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social Logging into your boyfriend's YouTube on the big TV: For You: Medieval historian ranks stews in cinema Building a catapult with dirt from my yard Programming a robot to unwrap KIND Bars Petite woman can eat the hottest sauce in the world The real John Wick was an Irish milkman 10:26 AM • Jan 10, 2025
ceej @ceej.online ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again. BOSS: Is that true? MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!! ME: He's not actually surprised. BOSS: Really? He seems surprised. MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!! ME: No, he's doing a bit. BOSS: Hm. I don't know 2:09 AM • Feb 4, 2026
scott f @scott@carfree.city As an ethical Al user, I begin each session by asking the chatbot to give a stolen data acknowledgement. It is an important first step toward justice. Feb 25, 2026, 12:32 AM
woods @wuooods very liberating that if you fool the same guy more than once it's low key not on you anymore 5:14 PM • May 7, 2025
Don Draper from the TV show 'Mad Men' answering if he knows what day it is on a Tuesday.
Darkness Lord @sabatonfan69 My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "the fall of Rome" 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯 Me: yeah whatever. I don't feel shit. 5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some Gauls in the forest My buddy Phillip pacing: the senate is lying to us 5:07 PM • 3/8/23
BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social Logging into your boyfriend's YouTube on the big TV: For You: Medieval historian ranks stews in cinema Building a catapult with dirt from my yard Programming a robot to unwrap KIND Bars Petite woman can eat the hottest sauce in the world The real John Wick was an Irish milkman 10:26 AM • Jan 10, 2025
