Ukobach

AI can't replace this shit, goddamn.

EXACTLY.

I always say I'm 98-99 percent straight, because there are definitely dudes I find attractive.

And I don't have a problem saying that. And I don't think a bronze-age sky/war/lightning god will punish me about it.

But these dudes have major problems with all that.

Again, this is NOT meant to represent what gay guys are like.

I know that's not what gay guys are like.

But these are freaks who insist they prayed their gay away, if only to themselves.

So this is what you get. Woman-thing that isn't attractive to anyone who likes women, but they don't realize.

My theory, and I'm sorry if it sounds offensive, is the old standard:

Most of them are VERY gay, but TURBO-REPRESSED, so they need a standard template of "yes, this is attractive lady, my male organ is so erect."

And the others all nod and go "yeah, she IS hot. We're totally attracted to women."

A future we can look forward to

One day, I swear to god, I'm gonna find one of those chairs and sit in that bitch, TO FINALLY KNOW IF IT'S MORE UNCOMFORTABLE THAN A DRIVEWAY WITH A FISTFUL OF GRAVEL SCATTERED ON IT, OR SO COMFY YOU'LL NEVER WANT ANOTHER CHAIR TO TOUCH YOUR ASS.

It's gotta be one or the other. No in-between.

This is how i access bluesky

I mean, I hasten to add that the "Something is intrinsically wrong with me as a person" thing gets MORE INSISTENT when I'm by myself, so roaming unincorporated land in the Square States would be a TERRIBLE idea.

But, ya know, self destruction is what we're talking about, here.

AuDHD with Boomer parents, but they weren't shitty parents.

If they had been shitty, I would probably be some kind of criminal?

Maybe one of those dudes who roams rural areas and sleeps in unoccupied hunting cabins, because that's how DONE with all society I would be?

Yes!

"DON JR JUST STUCK A BAG OF COCAINE ONTO HIS EAR. IT'S FINE" - Trump's doctor, probably

Setting aside the power/environmental arguments, and assuming the printer didn't leave any marks on them, I think it's dope that they were warm.

There's something comforting about warm sheets of paper, right off the copier.

Printers should have a dedicated button in their interface for warm sheets

The shape of those keycaps, too. I need to find me a good set of those.

I think we all need to count ourselves lucky that no religion's holy text has ever been as well-written as LOTR.

If that ever happens, that's gonna be a bigass cult.

Someone please make it the first nice cult.

Someone tape some of these motherfuckers to a stick and carry them around supposedly haunted locations. If anything can see ghosts, they can.

The cat needs the heating pad. What the cat really wants is for you to put the heating pad on your lap, then let the cat get on it.

You'll actually almost die of heatstroke, but you'll be fine with it.

Ask me how I know.

I'm pretty sure the Alf puppeteer had been, like, improvising a lot of wild shit, roasting him during outtakes and shit, too.

Poor guy actually developed a real hate boner for the puppet.

Wait, that's why Force Choke was a forbidden power. Too many Jedi found blue and lifeless, with their "lightsabers" in their hands.

I mean, the ones who aren't supposed to be blue. I don't know what color Twi'leks turn when they choke-and-stroke for too long.

Mark my words, there will be a new generation of the same thing that eventually comes along, but there will be a cover charge, to get in.

Or, like, a parking validation system, but for using the hanging-out spaces. No more "freeloading" will be allowed.

Shopping malls HAD to die, because they actually provided a lot of UNMONETIZED benefit to the community.

You could just go to the mall and walk around. Kids would hang out and barely spend any money, because they barely had any.

They were community centers. But, as noted, they were free. Too free.

I'm so sorry to hear that. :(

I mean, y'all do have a Demogorgon problem, over there.

I wasn't gonna bring it up, but that probably does fuck up the vibe.

lol sorry.

I mean, not sorry that you're from Indiana. Indiana seems nice, from that one time I went there.

I mean, I come from the Dallas-Fort Worth area, and I don't expect anyone to know which of the Metroplex suburbs are wealthier or more "country" or whatever.

I barely expect anyone to know we use the charmingly mid-century term "Metroplex" for our zone.

Yeah, but none of the rest of us know all the specifics about which of those cities have which characteristics, income brackets, races, etc.

So it's literally useless to rattle off which borough you come from, let alone which damn neighborhood.

But, again, you always do. As if we know all that.

It's WILD how many people immediately started finger-wagging and basically saying "tut-tut, now, let's not get off on that conspiracy theory nonsense," at the time.

Guys, there was already DEFINITELY A CONSPIRACY TO DO ALL THAT HORRIFIC STUFF ON AN ISLAND AND INVITE THE WORLD'S LUMINARIES TO DO IT.

And believe me, they WILL tell you what part of NYC they come from.

They are physically incapable of refraining.

Addendum: when New Yorkers tell you what part of New York they come from, remind them firmly that nobody asked and nobody gives a shit.

New chiptune banger just dropped 👾
Megaman × Sonic × Giana Sisters = MEGAWAVE🔥 Did you check it out yet??

Like, not to be fucking weird about it, but I think I made a porn-level whimper when it popped out, and there was the tiniest, most photogenic little fleck of blood on the broccoli that caught the light.

Basically, I lost my tooth socket virginity.

The situation made itself weird.