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Helena

@cockamamied

Writing for an imaginary audience; you're welcome to join. Profile picture: "I'm full of shit" illustration by Joan CornellΓ  Banner photo: Dalmatian wearing "Please give me space" vest by GiveADogAHome πŸ“Los Angeles boxd.it/5LSMD srlzd.com/u/cockamamied

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07.11.2024
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Latest posts by Helena @cockamamied

Figured this out as a kid when I tried to dissolve spoonfuls of sugar into room temp water. (Don't remember why; possibly one of my many kitchen "experiments." RIP my parents' spice cabinet)

11.03.2026 04:03 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A woman in a relationship with a man who's not a feminist? I call that internalized misogyny.

11.03.2026 02:52 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It doesn't make any more sense in context 😭

11.03.2026 02:00 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

FWIW, the stations I often go to in WeHo are ~$5 or less.

11.03.2026 01:56 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Indeed, that's City Hall in the background (and the 33 bus to Union Station). This Chevron is at 901 Alameda Street.

Their current prices aren't shown on Maps or Gas Buddy, but a Shell a couple blocks away is less than $7 (I know, still too high)

11.03.2026 01:56 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
From the fuckcars community on Reddit: Gas Pains? Take Amtrak for Relief! Explore this post and more from the fuckcars community

I'm unreasonably annoyed that another person quote-skeeted an accusation of this being machine-generated. IT'S REAL AND IT'S SPECTACULAR

11.03.2026 01:24 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

he would be the kind of vegan that carnists find insufferably self-righteous.

Dewey is the most likely candidate; by far the most compassionate (citation: s3e6 "Health Scare") and willing to help the less fortunate.
Jamie and the next kid: undetermined.

Maybe we'll see next month!

10.03.2026 00:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The question now is, which kid would go vegan?
Francis might eat plant-based just to impress a girl (before he was married) or to piss of Lois.
Reese is mildly sadistic, so probably not.
Malcolm would have to get over his desire to be normal, and if he did...

10.03.2026 00:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Off-topic: I can imagine Lois not necessarily minding one or more of the boys going vegan, but being unwilling to make separate food or alter her meal plan to accommodate. Thankfully, Reese might see the new diet (whether it's a brother's or his own) as a culinary opportunity.

10.03.2026 00:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

You know that's annoying? Having to carefully maneuver your clothes out of the drum so you don't get soap (in a scent you don't like) on them right after they've been rinsed clean.

Yeah, not sure I would trust them with a grill.

09.03.2026 03:10 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I would rather my apartment building's outdoor common area have a grill, where I could do it more efficiently (hotter) and safely (ventilation).

A few neighbors would probably leave it a mess though. Some of these people leave their dryer lint and splashes of detergent on the laundry machines.

09.03.2026 03:10 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

My biggest problem with hiring people for help is that I don't trust them to actually do a good job (why the trust issues??). Especially because I'm the type of person who, when I *am* dissatisfied with a service I've paid for, will almost never complain to the purveyor.

09.03.2026 03:10 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0

There are a lot of things that I'm not willing to pay someone else to do, so I either do them poorly or not at all. (PB&Js > food delivery.)

One thing I would be willing to pay someone for is seasoning carbon steel cookware. God I hate doing it. Too much heat and smoke!

09.03.2026 03:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Aha, I looked into it after replying and it appears that the then-new person in charge who was responsible for hiding everything (including intentional donations!!) has since been replaced! Back on the bucket list πŸ“

08.03.2026 05:30 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 2

As someone who grew up co-learning Spanish but was never as good with it as I was with English, and can barely string a sentence together anymore: the secret is in the consonants 🀌 if you're familiar with IPA and phonetics, it's helpful to study the differences in how certain letters are pronounced

08.03.2026 05:28 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

08.03.2026 03:12 πŸ‘ 17080 πŸ” 3393 πŸ’¬ 202 πŸ“Œ 119

It is indeed north of a Montana Avenue. My guess: laziest name to think of that isn't just "El Paso Detention Facility" (to prevent confusion with El Paso Service Processing Center five miles down the road?)

maps.app.goo.gl/3CcsLX4qK2Xz...

08.03.2026 04:29 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Mystery surrounds $1.2 billion Army contract to build huge detention tent camp in Texas desert Acquisition Logistics LLC has no experience running correction facilities and had never won a federal contract for more than $16 million.

"Named Camp East Montana for the closest road," according to PBS

www.pbs.org/newshour/pol...

08.03.2026 04:29 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

What do they have on display now since they archived all (?) the human remains? (Might be misremembering.) Ever since I first heard of MΓΌtter I've wanted to go, but...I've never been to Pennsylvania.

07.03.2026 05:50 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

There are definitely some Southerners with appealing drawls.

Of course, this also depends on other aspects of an individual's voice.

And then we must consider accents in other languages...a posh British accent in English is one thing; attempting Spanish is another!

07.03.2026 04:32 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

This also happens when a significant portion of crops is used to feed other animals instead of ourselves, so that the middleman animals (middlemanimals?) can eventually be eaten by humans.
Terribly inefficient.

07.03.2026 02:51 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

If you simply must say some thing it is usually better to frame it as a question.

β€œHow do you keep your piano from drying out when you use your fireplace?”

06.03.2026 16:50 πŸ‘ 12 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Disability accommodations are a rare thing that actually trickles down. You like curb cutouts? Auto-opening doors? Jar openers? Ramps? Hand rails? YOU’RE WELCOME

Even as an abled person you use disability accommodations every single day.

Supporting accommodations actually helps everyone.

07.03.2026 00:13 πŸ‘ 1457 πŸ” 457 πŸ’¬ 21 πŸ“Œ 14

Most justified case of misophonia: "moist" isn't a gross word because it sounds weird, but because it tastes weird.

05.03.2026 04:59 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
AxeVentures Axe Throwing | Live on the Edge AxeVentures is the best tomahawk axe throwing spot around. Experience a 5-star fun and safe environment to hurl axes casually or competitively for parties, corporate team building, or a fun night out ...

If you're ever in Hollywood, you can!

(They have other locations which I can't vouch for the possible inclusivity of)

05.03.2026 03:19 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

The one in my neighborhood is still here and as far as I'm concerned, they can stay (haven't gone though). It has a progress pride flag in the window year-round.

05.03.2026 02:01 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I dunno if Pisces are even supposed to be compatible with "my" sign (I jokingly identify as Ophiuchus when I remember that word; if I were writing a Mary Sue they would be a Scorpio)

04.03.2026 07:20 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Astrology doesn't make sense, but it is kinda weird that several people I particularly like (e.g. my mom, my husband, a few Content Creators) were born late February/early March.
Which means that I should actually plot out the birthdays/signs of all the people I like and see if it's significant.

04.03.2026 07:20 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Can't decide whether it would be more disappointing or hilarious if the orbology videos culminated in "here's my onlyfans"

04.03.2026 05:41 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

How did you get this photo of my parents' house?

04.03.2026 05:10 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0