Jeva Lange 🫎

There’s nothing more pleasant than being 100% done with a piece except that you still have a last-minute chance to swap a few of the adjectives for superior adjectives

I want the record to show that, as my father’s daughter, I also want to eat every bread

My dad is trying to eat a sandwich and my four-year-old nephew just roasted him by asking, “Do you just want to eat EVERY bread?”

Chotiner: So Friday Night Lights is your favorite tv show?

Me: definitely. One of the best ever.

Chotiner: So you’re a big fan of season two, i take it.

Me: Well, I don’t know about that.

Chotiner: But you think, and i’m quoting you here, it’s “one of the best ever”?

Me. No, Isaac. No. Hang on.

I saw this right before going to bed and now I can’t sleep

"Human writing often includes some clunky phrases, like this passage from Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian, caused by the author's aversion to punctuation: 'As well ask men what they think of stone.'"

This is the stupidest g.d. thing I have read all day.

Oh, thank you!!

hahahaha

I look forward to sleeping a full night in 1,265 days

As great philosophers have debated: Can it be a sleep regression if they have nothing to regress to?

That's just what we're hitting, I think — she's just shy of six months. I was up 10 times Friday night, six times Saturday, and four last night. It's getting better??? 😭

Thank you!!! <3

I would rather be told the truth!!!!

Everyone keeps being like, “One day the baby will sleep through the night!” but what if they’re lying

I'm out of words here

They're going to poison a city with 17 million people

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

Cute

I got an Oura ring shortly after having a baby and it’s been great, I love the validation of checking it and seeing it be like, “oh my GOD you were up FIVE TIMES?! Take a NAP, babe.”

It’s happening again

Scoop: FEMA Cancels All Emergency Manager Trainings Except for those related to the FIFA World Cup.

@jeva.bsky.social reports that, amid the DHS shutdown, "the Federal Emergency Management Agency has suspended all of its training and education programs for emergency managers across the country — except for those 'directly supporting the 2026 FIFA World Cup.'"

Not great!

nothing can be done, it's the spider's museum now

This reminds me of when I was going to visit the Helsinki Museum of Natural History until I saw the "spider infestation" subhed on its Wikipedia page bsky.app/profile/jeva...

I once illegally entered Mexico on accident and then had to illegally reenter the U.S.

Eighty-seven dead means there are hundreds of people who are now mourning sons, husbands, brothers, best friends, and fathers and … why

What would we do without such essential tools

Yesterday my friend sent me a two-sentence message on Instagram and Meta asked me if I wanted AI to summarize it

Coming out of my office at my parents’ house like, “Ah, good, the child has gotten her Throwing Stuff on the Ground practice in for the day”