Mark Stalzer

Shocked. I am shocked, I tell you.

You wrote a book? Why is this the first I’m hearing of it? What other secrets do you hold?

You could have also gone with a random driver stopped traffic on a highway exit ramp in order to walk over to your window and slap you.

But but but but my bored apes jpgs…they’re worth something right? RIGHT?!?!

You should say that to the llm when it makes a mistake

Article idea: For All Mankind is the Expanse prequel we didn’t know we needed.

a man is sitting on a couch with his eyes closed and says that 's a shame . ALT: a man is sitting on a couch with his eyes closed and says that 's a shame .

I would also have accepted

Can confirm. Witnessed it in real time.

Double feature with Dig! Just pure chaos and self destruction

I'm pretty sure "do you own a wet/dry vac?" was the only question on our mortgage application.

Perennial full album cover of wire? Yes please!

I think the question is whats the recipe?

What funny boston quips do you imagine the ground crew are making as they remove snow?

I had to read this an embarrassingly large amount of times to properly parse this.

You are doing the lords work, indeed

I was surprised he didn't do this after the tan suit incident. What a stain on our national reputation that was.

I can't emphasize how much an obligation you have to do everything you possibly can to stop this war. if you were mad people in Israel for being complicit in the genocide, now is the time to speak out and do literally all you can to stop whatever is happening here.

“Grok - how do you coup?”

You’ll appreciate the 4 dimensional chess of it all when they install Eric Adams as the regional governor.

You’re tweeting? They haven’t started censoring the internet yet? What the hell has Mamdani been doing these past 10 hours? I was promised a socialist hellscape and I damn well expect to see it before lunch time.

It's just locker room talk. You can't take that seriously.

I feel bad for the Seal team standing by to deliver pickled ginger.

I see the problem. He accidentally handed them his sushi order. Who among us hasn’t made the same mistake?

Red Dwarf and the Young Ones both shaped a lot of my early cultural misunderstandings

Even worse, I assumed I understood how hot vindaloo could be based on what I was served in America. My first time ordering it in London was met with the same “It’s too hot for you” and the same “i’ll show you” response. The kitchen staff all watching me suffer from the window in the kitchen door.

I have no idea, but I am not surprised by this either 😂

SAME!

I think the customary reply is "Thoughts and prayers"