Jay.'s Avatar

Jay.

@meangrape.com

I stopped studying the cello. I started studying Arabic. I grew up on the other side of the middle of nowhere and am an inveterate urban dweller now. I like mathematics, fountain pens, and TTRPGs. https://sidewalks.meangrape.com

1,525
Followers
4,009
Following
12,573
Posts
25.04.2023
Joined
Posts Following

Latest posts by Jay. @meangrape.com

Unfortunately there's way too much stress and anxiety to safely raw dog it

11.03.2026 16:38 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

On the one hand, I hate managing my mental state with medication. On the other hand I hate not managing my mental state with medication. There's just no way to win.

11.03.2026 16:28 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Seroquel helps with oversleeping for three hours,making me hungry, causing balance issues, blurry vision, and stress reduction if not elimination. It does not help with anxiety.

11.03.2026 14:52 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I’m not making it to 9pm. 8 it is.

11.03.2026 00:00 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yeah, I can’t read about that any more

10.03.2026 23:38 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

If I go to sleep now I’ll wake up at 4am. I’ve got to make it to 9am

10.03.2026 23:31 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I have got to eat something today

10.03.2026 21:45 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Thank you. She is kind enough that she wants a report in the morning.

10.03.2026 21:05 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I’m not going to mess with the jobs anymore. They can run all day tomorrow for all I care

10.03.2026 20:40 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I have not been this stressed since I was in combat

10.03.2026 20:25 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

You know, I might be getting some of that old mania.

10.03.2026 20:20 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

My psychiatrist has browbeaten me into one of my least favorite meds. 100mg of Seroquel nightly

10.03.2026 19:47 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Fine tuning two local LLMs (one Linux/NVIDIA and one M4 MAX/MLX) to generate a custom query language us a huge pain in the ass.

10.03.2026 13:12 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Well, I hoped I could do some BlueSky, but there's too much Iran and Israel. I've got to find something else to occupy my overly stressed brain.

09.03.2026 22:52 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

MD appt isn’t for 18 days, and he better have good news for me

09.03.2026 00:35 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

ok, I ate about half a meal. It counts.

08.03.2026 23:43 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Eating would be a good idea.

08.03.2026 18:13 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yeah, I feel this emoji deeply

08.03.2026 15:14 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

It's a good feeling when your poly friend says she texts you more than her partners

08.03.2026 15:13 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A double benzo and cold brew. The breakfast of someone who’s not quite a champion

08.03.2026 11:54 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

It is just an enormous clot

07.03.2026 21:02 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I have been informed that I should have eaten some food by 4pm. My 18yo is responsible

07.03.2026 21:01 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Talking to the kid is stressful

07.03.2026 19:16 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Izzie got over "OVER!" 24 hours without a siren. She's very excited about that.

07.03.2026 19:14 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

rsync would be nicer if it respected gitignore files

07.03.2026 16:12 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I did eat yesterday, though, Go, me!

07.03.2026 16:04 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I think so, but I'm not ready to pull it off for fear of yanking the clot off. I'm going to give it another day or two

07.03.2026 16:03 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The question is if the hole that got punched into my thumb has healed enough to take off the dressing and switch to bandaids

07.03.2026 00:56 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

730pm. I must not go to sleep

07.03.2026 00:30 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I need to find out if any of my rooms have an 8.5’ open triangular space without having to move any furniture

07.03.2026 00:12 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0