🌴✨🦋 Kathryn 🦋✨🌴

Yes, but will *you* be there to take me?

I see what you did there. Give it back.

I think there's an entire chapter on it, no?

It had a good life, doing what it loved

One of my favorite adult games:

Did I take ibuprofen 30 minutes ago...
or
did I just think about taking ibuprofen 30 minutes ago?

"The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can't always be sure of their authenticity." ~Abraham Lincon

This one cracked me up

Excellent question. Are ya feeling lucky??

Good one, right? 😁

We do not throw away perfectly good food in this house.

We put the leftovers in Tupperware, put the Tupperware in the fridge, let it go bad, THEN we throw it out.

Want to get even with an ex? Sneak into their house and steal the plate that turns in the microwave.

...not that I've ever done this. 😏

It is incomprehensible to me to consider that it will probably be another country who ultimately saves us. Not Congress...not the Senate...not the media. I don't care who it is, so long as the rest of the world understands that the majority of us did NOT vote for any of this and that we need saving!

😁 ❤️

Thanks for the follow — questionable life choice, but I appreciate it. 😁
If you ever want the longer, slightly more unhinged versions of these thoughts, I write a humor column over on Substack. It’s free. Link’s in my bio.

good. i'll supply the blankies and furry slippers.

Why do so many murderers bury victims in their own backyards? A: Not everyone has the trunk space or gas money to drive way out in the middle of nowhere to dump their bodies. Check your privilege. We're all doing the best we can out here.

😏

🎶 "Hold on for one more day..." 🎶

I'm still hanging on, Wilson Phillips.

Send help.

YouTube is the worst when trying to concentrate on work.

Top 10 unexplained ocean mysteries?

Go on.

Altho, it would honestly surprise me if he's thinking anything generous for his kids, or anyone else. It's hard for us to think like a psychopath/narcissist, but my guess is that he's thinking about punishing his enemies after he's gone.

I think we have to hope that someone in his inner circle will choose saving their own skin over watching him burn. And that saving their own skin will inadvertently help the rest of us in the end.

Good. We're meeting at your place...can you bring the tequila? Oh, and the limes?

And maybe the chips?

Bitches love it when you clean up after yourself and don't leave shit everywhere.

[It's me. I'm bitches.]

"Accountability." That has to be the theme for the coming year. Nothing else can matter.

Has anyone followed the money to be made by this war? I mean, we know that's what drives donald to do everything he does. Either that, or it's the dirt bibi /putin has on him. What worries me most is that he's dying & he has no prob w/burning down everything on his way out.

Usually they confuse the hell out of me, but this one, I don’t mind. 😁

a man and a woman are hugging each other with hbo written on the bottom ALT: a man and a woman are hugging each other with hbo written on the bottom

That was lovely, Brooke.

I'm not saying we should skip work tomorrow and drink margaritas and eat chips and nap all day.

But I'm not not saying that either.

So true.

I knew you'd get it.

Difference between the left and the right:

I looked in your cup to see if you needed more.

You looked in mine to see if I had more than you.

We are not the same.

What I can't figure out is, what financial incentive could there be to keeping it in place? (Since we all know that positively everything is financially-driven)