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NY Times Pitchbot

@nytpitchbot

If Adolf Hitler flew in today, they’d send a limousine anyway. Parody. Merch: https://tinyurl.com/msjjmwpt

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Latest posts by NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot

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Under the stewardship of an alcoholic TV host, this is how the Department of Defense is spending our tax dollars:

10.03.2026 21:52 👍 652 🔁 288 💬 60 📌 61

Trump really is fast. It took the previous 4 US presidents 20 years to replace Taliban with Taliban. It took Trump just a week to replace Khamenei with Khamenei.

10.03.2026 05:43 👍 586 🔁 82 💬 8 📌 0

We have successfully bombed a school, gotten 7 soldiers killed, disrupted the world economy, and replaced an 86 year-old supreme leader with his much younger, more hardline son who is more committed to building nuclear weapons. Operation Middle East Wing is all but complete.

by Donald J. Trump

10.03.2026 19:09 👍 888 🔁 160 💬 16 📌 5

I was burned in my support for the Iraq war, Trump's first presidential campaign, and Trump's second presidential campaign. Here's why I think this time I'm going to kick the proverbial football.

by Bret Stephens

10.03.2026 19:08 👍 428 🔁 28 💬 7 📌 3

Opinion | By killing schoolchildren en masse, we are giving Iranians the freedom and liberty that Americans have enjoyed in Littleton, Newtown, Parkland, and Uvalde.

10.03.2026 19:08 👍 817 🔁 183 💬 24 📌 15

In what in retrospect seems to have been a characteristically savvy bit of ambiguity, Trump never specified who would do the unconditional surrendering in his Iran war.

10.03.2026 17:45 👍 651 🔁 86 💬 19 📌 4

Long-time buddies Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols were out for a pleasant van drive in Oklahoma when, all of a sudden, their lives would change.

10.03.2026 13:19 👍 9389 🔁 1891 💬 176 📌 39

Italy was a bad example for him to pick because there are places with 30 flavors of gelato everywhere you look and people go to them constantly.

09.03.2026 17:18 👍 1114 🔁 32 💬 17 📌 1

I do hate how those things slow down the line, but I'm not sure they do that much anymore.

09.03.2026 17:14 👍 162 🔁 2 💬 6 📌 0

It's even a genuinely bad example of the point he's trying to make... you've been able to get thousands of flavors of ice cream and gelato (often customizable with sprinkles and suck) all over the US and Europe for at least 60 years.

09.03.2026 17:12 👍 1494 🔁 46 💬 21 📌 0

Trump is bringing infrastructure week to Iran.

by Marc Thiessen

09.03.2026 17:07 👍 550 🔁 53 💬 12 📌 5

The media cheered on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. So why isn't cheering on the war in Iran? Trump Derangement Syndrome may be the answer.

09.03.2026 17:06 👍 452 🔁 33 💬 11 📌 3
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I can't compete with this.

09.03.2026 16:20 👍 10287 🔁 1742 💬 231 📌 413

Having mastered epidemiology, Russian history, toilet paper supply chain logistics, bridge design, balloon aeronautics, and large language models, I'd like to offer my thoughts on how the closing of the Strait of Hormuz will impact Brent crude....(1/67)

09.03.2026 11:43 👍 676 🔁 90 💬 11 📌 3

The Iranians will greet our drones as liberators.

by Bret Stephens

09.03.2026 06:22 👍 811 🔁 73 💬 8 📌 4

I lost my job, my 401(k) is in the toilet, and I can’t afford healthcare, groceries, and now gas. But at least the president doesn’t have an annoying laugh, because he never laughs.

09.03.2026 06:22 👍 1432 🔁 198 💬 11 📌 4

It's time for Democrats to stop focusing on issues that only elites care about, like unemployment and the price of gas, and start talking about things that matter to regular Americans, like Black mermaids and the genders of the characters on Paw Patrol.

09.03.2026 05:58 👍 1111 🔁 141 💬 22 📌 2

Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski to share office, research budget at Harvard’s Institute of Politucs.

09.03.2026 05:52 👍 580 🔁 35 💬 17 📌 4
Preview
The 5 Funniest MAGA AI Parody Videos You’ll See This Month! Shuster's Weekly Wrap-Up! Watch now | From Trump impersonations to absurd campaign deepfakes, AI satire keeps getting sharper—and funnier.

Funny AF Shuster post: "The 5 Funniest MAGA Parody Clips" WATCH www.blueamp.co/p/the-5-funn...

"Donald Trump's rage-tweeting emperor & Broadway belter. Sen Markwayne Mullin, at DHS, is supposed to build a wall between the US & Mexico, but couldn’t even separate his first 2 names"

(Epstein & Trump)

08.03.2026 20:56 👍 52 🔁 8 💬 7 📌 0

What we’re seeing now was probably inevitable after Newt and Fox News. Just a matter of time.

08.03.2026 23:05 👍 358 🔁 11 💬 15 📌 5

The 115 girls in the bombed school were no angels.

08.03.2026 23:00 👍 678 🔁 58 💬 31 📌 5

Donald Trump's aggressive campaign against wind, solar, and EVs has kept Americans dependent on foreign oil. Now his Iranian war has exploded the cost of gasoline. Here's why that's bad news for Democrats.

08.03.2026 23:00 👍 747 🔁 108 💬 9 📌 2

We are bombing Iran to drive out their authoritarian government that cruelly suppresses the democratic will of its people. And if they won't surrender, we're going to cancel the midterms.

by Donald Trump

08.03.2026 23:00 👍 595 🔁 88 💬 7 📌 4

What do average Iranian civillians think about the bombing campaign that's ravaging their country? Ross Douthat and Josh Barro drop by to explain.

08.03.2026 23:00 👍 379 🔁 32 💬 6 📌 1

Why Iran’s elevation of the Ayatollah’s son clears the path for Don Jr.’s ascension to become the U.S.’s next President.

08.03.2026 22:59 👍 465 🔁 47 💬 15 📌 2

I don’t know Mojtaba Khamenei the supreme leader of Iran. But Mojta the carpool dad is one great guy.

08.03.2026 22:57 👍 237 🔁 16 💬 7 📌 1

It took Trump a year to start a war with Iran. Would Kamala Harris have started it sooner?

08.03.2026 22:56 👍 594 🔁 59 💬 19 📌 6

Nepotism has made Iran weak.

by Jared Kushner and RFK Jr.

08.03.2026 22:56 👍 1375 🔁 222 💬 18 📌 9

The Washington Post ended political endorsements in 2024. Here’s why it will endorse Trump in 2028.

08.03.2026 19:53 👍 873 🔁 84 💬 15 📌 2

If Epstein had never been caught then there is a 100% likelihood that Epstein would be hired at either Bari’s fake university or Bari’s fake CBS News

08.03.2026 19:45 👍 983 🔁 223 💬 20 📌 1