꒰ა saint ໒꒱

nobody rly talks to me on this website anymore idk why

i hope we can at least sit and do a puzzle sometime this week. that would be enough. i have two beautiful puzzles to do but i want to do them with him. i miss him. i brought my ipad and my book to bed to entertain me until i sleep. i hope tomorrow is a bit better. i miss him.

it hurts me to see him hurting when we can't connect because illness is in the way. if that makes sense. we can't even sleep in the same room right now. i miss him. renal failure is so difficult. i miss him.

lonely day today — hubby and i had planned a lot of fun things but he was just too sick to do any of them. i cared for him instead and he went to bed early. said my prayers brushed my teeth and tucked myself into bed ... i miss him. i hope we get a transplant soon. i miss him.

i feel like such a failure of a wife

i cannot pay the bills this week and i'm so fucking anxious and so tired of asking for money because everyone under the sun needs money and i'm trying so hard and my husband is in surgery and i have to go to work to make more money so i cannot be with him and i just want to explode ya know

crying a little bit in my bedroom and then i will be okay. the emotional labour of it all. i don't want to be bad

i just miss when i could also focus on me a little bit. that's all. today is just hard. but i cherish the work and i cherish the time. does this make sense? i hope it does

being a caretaker is so hard sometimes. constantly having conversations about how he feels because it is his health and it is our number one priority is hard sometimes. i love him and would move heaven and earth for him bug i am missing the partnership of our relationship. hopefully i am not bad

[ not about my husband at all ]

loving a man who absolutely hates himself is the hardest thing ever - it really ruins everything so often

hello friends if i follow u here don't feel like u need to follow back i just like seeing ur posts on the tl while i am musing to myself. if u do follow back ilu <3