Zetus Lapetus

who the hell keeps leaving werthers originals in my bussy?

Stephanie Meyer walked so Sarah J Maas could run!

I was gonna make a joke that Gracie Abrams’ dad is JJ Abrams, but thats apparently the truth

This looks like a still from an avengers movie - Who is taking these photos?

Birds inside airports are my favorite part of American culture.

They have the same vibes as Home Alone 2: Lost In New York

I don’t care how many movies you put him in, I still couldn’t pick Paul Mescal out of a crowd.

I hear her whistle on the wind…see champagne flutes when I close my eyes…

Dating Pro Tip: Ask to see their YouTube history

me as a ghost

Imagine becoming a ghost in like 2003, looking ugly as hell for the rest of eternity

Gen Z being labeled Zoomers is honestly a major L for ya’ll, I’m so sorry

Do we have to use hashtags on this app, or can we all be adults?

Gays passing each other at the movies as they see wicked for the 23rd time.

bye!

and unfortunately, it’s working for me

“Gabbriette Bechtel” sounds like a reverse sneeze

Thinking about going back to school sandwich artistry

these women are 30, let them rest

So much of twitter is just incredibly weird men posting a picture of a woman’s new haircut and saying something like “the west has fallen”

Straight girls: “I love my gay friends, they have such great style.”

The Style:

Vegetales, but instead of veggies it’s carnival foods, and instead of god it’s ancient aliens

I thought this was Brittany Broski

Me last year: “AI is going to destroy us all.”

Me now: “How can I help train this MF?!”

Watching Daffy Duck getting squashed by a cartoon piano like “Damn, why can’t life be like the movies.”

We’re f*$🎺in with Drumpf when dinner is being served right upstairs?

Wherever she is, protect Wendy Williams

Who you want for birthday twins is not necessarily who you're gonna get for birthday twins

Really, the WWE lady for Education? Ms. Frizzle was right there.

Dear GOD, not another Uber driver with something to prove