Grosdoriane

I'm not sure how this even works, but if a man had sang "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry it would have somehow been 1000x gayer.

[as 5 people are actively being run over by a trolley] oh my god why were you guys so obsessed with whether or not I pulled that lever??

It's my world, and I'm just living in it.

Print media is dying because there aren't little pauper boys on the street corner yelling "extra, extra!!" anymore.

We're going to see the word "Controversial" so much it's going to destroy our brains.

If you're on a path walking towards me, I will gladly move out of your way.

If two people are walking side-by-side on a path, I'm happy to move out of the way.

If you are walking THREE-WIDE on a path, and encroaching on my side, you will run headfirst into me before I ever consider moving for you.

I know i give off big "[guy who's only read Das Kapital] Getting a lot of Das Kapital vibes from this..." Energy, but in my defense it is a really long book and kind of timelessly described all of everything that is always happening then, now, and in the future. So,-

Someone should write a book about this. A sort of "Critique of Political Economy" that explores the "Capital"ist mode of production. Maybe a book in three volumes.

And maybe the guy's name should be something like "Karl Marx," for example.

Why it was disrespectful for Bam Adebayo to ride in a helicopter and land safely, my latest on Substack-

Republicans hearing the actual story and lessons of Christ:

There's some connection in my brain between "Comedy is about punching up" and "Punk is inherently left-wing," but I can't parse what it is other than "Completely untrue things that are said repeatedly by people who aren't even really interested in what they're talking about."

Imagine being the poor sap who has to run the "Bluesky New York Times Public Relations Account."

Like fighting an uphill battle, but starting all the way down at Everest Base Camp.

As a Day 1 Lemon Twigs Hater, I look forward to once again hearing one song off of this album and then thinking "Okay, well, that one's pretty good... But that's the only one."

They're really just letting you bet on anything these days.

"Why is weightlifting such a right-wing coded hobby??"

Idk, but I have a feeling that any hobby where the phrase "bad genetics" is just a thing that everyone says is going to already be fighting an uphill battle.

Bad calf genetics. Tale as old as time, almost makes you feel sorry for the poor guys. 😔

The Emperor's New Shoes

?

That's what's up

me, taking my last breaths on the battlefield: tell my family that while i was out here, i was beautiful and kind.

if i had written "The Hangover" i would've had it say "paging doctor GENIUS!"

Sure I get sad sometimes, and sure in an almost literal sense I'm making straight up peanuts at my full-time job, but also I'm playing with the houses money on 300,000 years of human progress.

There's air conditioning now. I'm pretty much good with however my life goes.

One of my most annoying traits is that I am unironically the kind of guy who will think about it like "I would rather have running water in my home than $10 million" and then walk away from that thought going "I am effectively a multi-millionaire."

Designer Skyline YouTube video by Owl City - Topic

This song was so sick before "Fireflies" popped off 2 years later and it wasn't cool to listen to MySpace indietronica anymore.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wTK...

wait, what's that one owl city song?

when mom says i'm not allowed to toast another Giant Marshmallow, but i'm gonna toast it anyway

the first 5 seconds after i pull into work:

wait.... what da hell?

I have a pic of the "Solway Firth Spaceman" where I edited Peter Griffin to be standing behind the girl instead, and I think it's funny, but it's on an external hard drive somewhere from when I reformatted my desktop.

I don't feel like finding it, so, like, just imagine Peter Griffin is there: