Marnie Shure

Does anybody know how to make a painfully unfunny 60-second clip mashing up The Office and Law & Order? Looking to make it for under 20 cents.

**chainsmoking** you wouldn't b e l i e v e the things I've seen CPG manufacturers infuse with protein

If you wanna see me get angry, watch me open a promotional email that tells me to "Hurry"

To be fair, my smile lasts a LOT longer this this dog than others. But yes, I agree - Id always rather have people smile at my dog than not!

Whenever I cross paths with the Instagram-famous dog in my neighborhood, which is often, I feel a big knowing smile break out over my face that's probably a lot creepier than just saying hello

I saw one at an antique store on Saturday but it was tragically not for sale

Library step stool with the ugly brown color and worn treads...the good stuff

New meditation practice: Unleash a wave of calm by simply staring at one of these babies

If society can more or less agree on the concept of "iPhone Face" then surely Chicagoans will agree when I say that some people exhibit undeniable Fulton Market Face

JOEL CAN I COUNT ON YOUR VOTE

Confidential to Blank Check Patreon subscribers: Please go vote for Chucky over Halloween, not only because it's the right thing to do but also because I incredibly Need This

OMAR 😭😭😭 This is so kind!! Excited for you to wow your friend with Chicago's best! (And thank you for the reminder that I have to get there myself...)

Have put a lot of thought into this and I've determined that the sexiest thing a person can be is someone who guides a door shut rather than letting it slam, and I understand if you think this is a bit, I thought so too when I started typing, but actually this is something real I'm sharing with you

And not really all that consequential a problem, given that the majority of items will be replaced at no charge

Gotta hand it to Ring doorbells, which successfully marketed "voluntary paid opt-in to the surveillance state" as "wouldn't you like to eliminate the mild irritation of occasionally having your packages stolen?"

I love the Salt Shed, but we absolutely cannot start referring to it as "the Shed." We already have one of those. And if you think that context clues would determine whether you're talking about the music venue or the aquarium, may I refer you to the "Jazzin' at the Shedd" summer concert series

It's not my job to determine whether I qualify as a silly goose. That's your job entirely

Unfortunately I think we've found the sweatiest, most belaboredly overconstructed Nancy strip of all time

See? One need only hope

Donnie darko therapist meme Your order has shipped Has it really shipped or just shipping label Shipping label

I made this to express my feelings

🫡🫡🫡

I understand that all logic would dictate I have an affinity for Hop Along but I simply do not and no streaming algorithm has yet succeeded in being trained on this one immutable fact

Thursday, or, the Friday of the Hopeful

I would feel like an even bigger imposter than when I say "y'all"

Agree, except for some of us it's a transitional period while we cast about for a phrase to replace "you guys"

"In space, no one can't hear you scream" styled like the Super Mario Galaxy title screen

article: "Meet Fancy, 37, the world's oldest horse – and her lifelong caretaker"

Hell of a thing to learn that if you were a horse you'd be literally the oldest horse in the world

Some of you have never been treated to the auditory pleasures of hearing a lifelong Chicagoan say "Throop" and it shows

No thoughts just Chef Boyardee Cannelloni

Soft dog treats rob us of the joy brought by those little cronching sounds

Thank you Erik