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Chris Longman

@chrislongman

Software developer-turned-attorney. Focusing on security and privacy issues. Probably breaking 3D printers right now. He/him/hockey. Thoughts are my own.

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09.11.2024
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Latest posts by Chris Longman @chrislongman

lol that’s a wild stat (even the morning after). So many feelings about that one..

02.11.2025 16:37 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Brandon Montour scored on a 96 mph shot to tie the game and notch his third goal in two contests. #NHLStats

Watch now 🌎: https://www.nhl.com/smartlinks?handle=app-othercountries

02.11.2025 04:46 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

13 shots on goal by the way is the fewest shots on goal the #SeaKraken have ever recorded in a game. 17 had been the low since year 1

02.11.2025 04:49 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 1

I’m not complaining about a 1ppg pace in the first month, but we gotta start picking up more wins if this season is going to turn out to be a pleasant surprise.

02.11.2025 16:33 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Graph showing 2024-25 regular season, 5v5 rebound shot attempts. Kraken were 7th worst in league

Graph showing 2024-25 regular season, 5v5 rebound shot attempts. Kraken were 7th worst in league

Working on a thing after listening to @alisonl.bsky.social on @soundofhockey.com - still needs some work but something I really want to track under Lane Lambert. #rstats #hockeystats #SeaKraken
data pulled from @moneypuck.bsky.social

20.09.2025 22:49 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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#GoCougs πŸŽπŸ†

20.09.2025 23:05 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0
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XboxΒ 360 consoles can now be hacked with just a USB key The BadUpdate exploit just needs a USB key

XboxΒ 360 consoles can now be hacked with just a USB key

17.03.2025 14:20 πŸ‘ 87 πŸ” 19 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 3

I love how we’re at this point both the spoilers and the goon. I don’t think I can imagine the kraken being like this at all last season #SeaKraken

15.03.2025 05:01 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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By popular demand, here’s Darren Brown’s post-game Walk and Talk after a thrilling 5-4 #SeaKrakenΒ  overtime win over the Canadiens.

13.03.2025 06:45 πŸ‘ 41 πŸ” 6 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 0
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Many people think Americans are stupid.

I have long tried to argue against this.

Americans (specifically the GOP) make this REALLY hard.

10.03.2025 17:34 πŸ‘ 672 πŸ” 240 πŸ’¬ 59 πŸ“Œ 29

β€œThey’re called β€˜features,’ Michael. β€˜Tricks’ are what a whore does for money.”

10.03.2025 19:50 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A thank you graphic to Yanni Gourde after being traded, featuring a picture of Gourde.

A thank you graphic to Yanni Gourde after being traded, featuring a picture of Gourde.

A leader both on and off the ice.

Thank you Yanni for all of the work you put in to help build our franchise from day one with your work ethic and positive attitude. Wishing you and your family all the best in your return to Tampa Bay!Β πŸ’™πŸ©΅

05.03.2025 21:37 πŸ‘ 302 πŸ” 24 πŸ’¬ 19 πŸ“Œ 18

I know it’s time to move on from this dumpster fire of a roster (in terms of results, NOT in terms of people).

But dammit, I am not ready to switch from β€œYanni” to β€œJani” just yet!

05.03.2025 23:25 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
An unhinged beaver wielding an axe and an flag

An unhinged beaver wielding an axe and an flag

πŸͺ“ Canadians rn πŸͺ“

04.03.2025 16:23 πŸ‘ 79 πŸ” 24 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 1

i love tariffs...ta riff with my homies

27.11.2024 05:26 πŸ‘ 1050 πŸ” 179 πŸ’¬ 13 πŸ“Œ 11

The Pitt is legit

01.03.2025 00:47 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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There’s not much to say, Canada, except: Sorry It’s hard to know what to say when an old friend breaks up with you. Especially when it’s your fault, writes columnist Danny Westneat.

Read this.

β€œThe bitter truth is we knew Trump was impetuous. We knew he loves to bully his allies more than enemiesβ€” witness how he relishes humiliating, say, GOP senators. And we knew he would act out the Ugly American shtick on the world stage. We elected him anyway.

Still, picking on … Canada?”

28.02.2025 04:06 πŸ‘ 166 πŸ” 30 πŸ’¬ 18 πŸ“Œ 5
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Nice start for Stezka. All seven shots on target denied. Tremendous support by the skaters in front of him as well - blocking shots and passes and maintaining excellent gaps when TBL nears the scoring areas. #SeaKraken

23.02.2025 23:48 πŸ‘ 44 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

KAKKO IS GOOD AT HOCKO
#seakraken

22.02.2025 23:24 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
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Seattle Kraken vs. the Florida Panthers coming up at 3pm Pacific. Game will air on KONG and Amazon Prime locally.
Here are some game notes:

22.02.2025 22:51 πŸ‘ 14 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Jordan Eberle returns to #SeaKraken lineup tonight after a long journey returning from an injury not seen in hockey before. Hear from him, Jared McCann and Ron Francis on how the captain got back to game-ready and what it means to have him play:

bit.ly/EberleReturns

22.02.2025 19:44 πŸ‘ 72 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 1

I think that’s great! I’m a big fan of staying at a place you love to work.

20.02.2025 06:07 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Congrats on the retirement!!

19.02.2025 01:58 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

If your podcast has three loud ass ads before I even hear your voice, you can fuck right off.

15.02.2025 01:31 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

oh now they’re mad at deadnaming?

14.02.2025 17:54 πŸ‘ 1430 πŸ” 104 πŸ’¬ 15 πŸ“Œ 16

This is peak lawyering and I can bet you Scotten will have his pick of any partner role he wants by 9am Tuesday

14.02.2025 18:23 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Heard the pod. Thanks for having our backs! πŸ‘Œ

14.02.2025 05:39 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

And β€œPike’s Place” πŸ˜‚

13.02.2025 23:58 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Remember how angry you felt on 9/11? Now imagine it was Canadians who attacked you like that? That’s how we feel. It will never be the same.

13.02.2025 22:54 πŸ‘ 49 πŸ” 11 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0
Non Hodgkins Lymphoma : Description, Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Survival

Where do I place my bet on how long it will take for this bulldozer speedrun to succeed?

I’m surprised there’s not an ad on the nhl homepage…

09.02.2025 17:59 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0