Chilli 🥀

a woman says i can 't say i didn 't see this coming ALT: a woman says i can 't say i didn 't see this coming

FIL is home and his drunkard moll of a gf and her entitled daughter made his trip fucken miserable ohnoes

EXTREMELY real for autism feel

I feel you, my 10k trip through the Territory suddenly feels extremely financially irresponsible lolol 🥲

Spend all week every week complaining about cleaning my house and then relax each night by playing several hours of power wash and/or house flipper

I need an IRL ding noise every time I do anything clicker training simply isn't enough

Genuinely gonna be both cheaper and more fuel-efficient to run the BA Falcon over any of my other cars by the end of the week wtaf

CLOSE THE FUCKEN TUPPERWARE LIDS OH MY GOD

Discord automod falsely flagging Jeremy Fragrance as the F slur

Discord automod is the most painful thing to deal with istg

I did in fact just bin everything because it was all aged and/or stored in a questionable manner and replaced the basics lmao

a cartoon says praise me praise me in a dark room ALT: a cartoon says praise me praise me in a dark room

The fridge and pantry were both chockers - almost entirely with FIL's stuff - and now contain only:

A dozen eggs, milk, sliced cheese, some energy drinks, and various sauces

Several packets of ramen, a bag each of rice and pasta, a box of tea, vegemite, blackberry jam, and a litre of soy sauce

You're a genius

We're all currently panicking about diesel at work

A $20 limit at $2.60 a litre doesn't get you very far in a tow truck, and I can't exactly wait in line for half an hour with an accident on the radar I would go straight to jail lmao

This is Maymei! I do have the Lovely Emma froggy in the mail tho 🫶🏻

Maymei Symbiote Neverland Cactus Bear plush

A friend to match my beer 💚

Grey tabby cat

Sage immediately alerted me when my kitchen caught fire and she's had extra treats ever since 🩷

I saw a shiny new GP last week and I spent most of the appointment fixing my own records and doing their job for them, it would be laughable if it wasn't actively fucking up vital healthcare

Why the fuck do I not need my glasses to Look At Screen™ all day but I need to be wearing them to eat lunch

I did in fact factor in the possibility of Western warmongering-led fuel price increases while planning my trip to Darwin in three months

HOWEVER

It cost me $300 to fill the Hilux today and I just about had a stroke please don't let diesel rise to $4 a litre in major cities 😭

a man in a suit and bow tie is standing in front of a green wall . ALT: a man in a suit and bow tie is standing in front of a green wall .

"fuck he's so hot" - my very straight white male partner @ David Byrne

Get well soon Pickles 🥺🩷

Bought image-synced backlights for my gigantic smart TV because we're bougie like that now apparently

😢 I'm so sorry mate

Two beautiful BLOO™ passports 🙌🏻

Rocketing my ass 3,300km into the disgusting warm tropics to go see some boabs 🙌🏻

Large Murray River turtle

>childfree
>owns an heirloom pet

Why am I like this

Yes I will continue to risk a kidney infection every morning because getting up to pee would ruin the sleep I'm not actually getting

a black and white drawing of a person 's face Alt: Nina from Fullmetal Alchemist after being transmuted with Alexander

Watched *that* episode of Fullmetal Alchemist before bed so now I'm lying here crying 3 hours later ✌🏻

I hope the Wikipedia editors never change the image for autism from the baby stacking cans they are our best representative 🙌🏻

Best friend found a tiny bubba kitten in her yard, I've lent her my trap and I'm quietly hoping it's not returned with the baby in it🤞🏻