greg

Happy birthday, kitten!

If a non-idiot contestant ever did Helen Lawson for Snatch Game it would absolutely rip.

Took off my shirt on a dance floor tonight despite not having had a “shirt off in front people body” in like ten years and nobody dumped a vat of pig blood on me or anything

For real though what the heck is wrong with people who use carriage returns in texts

Can’t get the theme song from Schindler’s List out of my head for some reason

Doable!

we stan an independent woman! best of everything to her and you.

That’s a some-a spicy meatballs

I tried to use my quarterly flexible benefit stipend thing to expense botox but it got declined 😒

Submitted a claim for a couple massages and a bunch of gay slut thongs and jockstraps instead, and voila 💸

Is there a Techno-Idealists list that I can block?

Won 35 bucks and a scratcher at drag bingo.

Stretch my hole like one of your French girls.

lol remember this fucking shit

JonBenét that one Christmas:

Sunday morning and I woke up two hours before my alarm 🙃

But it’s sort of only one hour early? Or is it three hours early? I don’t know how anything works.

My favorite Kylie song

Senators: they’re just like us! (they get their most important news from PopCrave)

I was Pontiac Aztec hive, myself.

Lana Del Rey fifteen years ago

Listening, learning.

Anthropic ass phrasing, more likely

Satisfied?

Wake up babe, a new game of footsie with thermonuclear annihilation just dropped

Imagine you’re an entertainer. You reached the uppermost echelons in your field. Now in your late fifties, the world has nothing for you but esteem. Your manger has you booked for a press thing. The car service drops you off, you get out of the green room, and you find out you’re on Las Culturistas.

And all the while humiliating a poor local reporter assigned to go out in a blizzard or heatwave or martian attack to do some banal feel-good schlock she probably hates and who probably herself struggles to cover rent on her 50k salary!

From your toothless mouth to god’s ears!